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A review by votesforwomen
New Moon by Stephenie Meyer
2.0
This book managed to be better than the first, but I still don't think it's fair to review it higher than 2 stars because it was still just...blargh. Bleck. *mimes throwing up*
Welcome back to Forks, Washington, a place where it actually stops raining occasionally in this book and where the characters are so self-aware of the fact that they're in a paranormal romance that they frequently stop to question what about their town attracts so many paranormal monsters. This time, Bella has FRIENDS--oh wait they don't actually like her or her boyfriend, but we'll never find out why they're sitting with her. She has a DAD--who still gets maybe two pages of screen time, and it's all as the overbearing dad, not the epic police chief and vampire hunter he could be. She has a TRUCK--still the best character, with the most personality (mostly because Bella repeatedly tells us how much personality her truck has). And she has--NOT a boyfriend.
That's right--this time Edward is gone, living in South America or something, and Bella is DEEPLY SAD. To demonstrate her sadness...wait for it...she'll decide it's time to snap out of her depression, and BUYS MOTORCYCLES.
*record screeches*
Dude, I don't even know what happened in this book. I read it in about two hours and I still don't know what was going on, except that Edward was going to get executed for being glittery after HE dumped his own girlfriend and that Bella alternates between hating mechanics and loving cars. Also there are werewolves. They're teenagers. They kill a bunch of people, but don't worry, those were probably all vampires. Hopefully. Even though they attack a bunch of hikers and only one was proven to be a vampire.
Why just why
Anyway
Starring:
-BELLA WHO IS NO LONGER /THAT/ CLUTZY except when it's relevant to the plot (I wish!)
-Edspresso Depresso
-The Alice who Cried Wolf
-Jacob-Jake-Jakey
-SAAAAAM-I-AM
-Some motorcycles
-Cliff diving
-and ZOMBIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEES
*in Bella's voice* What was truly terrifying was when they showed the action movie heroine being pursued by a zombie, and the moment I realized which I resembled more.
BLUSH GIRL BLUSH IT'S A LIFESAVER BUY SOME
Welcome back to Forks, Washington, a place where it actually stops raining occasionally in this book and where the characters are so self-aware of the fact that they're in a paranormal romance that they frequently stop to question what about their town attracts so many paranormal monsters. This time, Bella has FRIENDS--oh wait they don't actually like her or her boyfriend, but we'll never find out why they're sitting with her. She has a DAD--who still gets maybe two pages of screen time, and it's all as the overbearing dad, not the epic police chief and vampire hunter he could be. She has a TRUCK--still the best character, with the most personality (mostly because Bella repeatedly tells us how much personality her truck has). And she has--NOT a boyfriend.
That's right--this time Edward is gone, living in South America or something, and Bella is DEEPLY SAD. To demonstrate her sadness...wait for it...she'll decide it's time to snap out of her depression, and BUYS MOTORCYCLES.
*record screeches*
Dude, I don't even know what happened in this book. I read it in about two hours and I still don't know what was going on, except that Edward was going to get executed for being glittery after HE dumped his own girlfriend and that Bella alternates between hating mechanics and loving cars. Also there are werewolves. They're teenagers. They kill a bunch of people, but don't worry, those were probably all vampires. Hopefully. Even though they attack a bunch of hikers and only one was proven to be a vampire.
Why just why
Anyway
Starring:
-BELLA WHO IS NO LONGER /THAT/ CLUTZY except when it's relevant to the plot (I wish!)
-Edspresso Depresso
-The Alice who Cried Wolf
-Jacob-Jake-Jakey
-SAAAAAM-I-AM
-Some motorcycles
-Cliff diving
-and ZOMBIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEES
*in Bella's voice* What was truly terrifying was when they showed the action movie heroine being pursued by a zombie, and the moment I realized which I resembled more.
BLUSH GIRL BLUSH IT'S A LIFESAVER BUY SOME