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A review by theboundless_bookworm
The Collected Regrets of Clover by Mikki Brammer
5.0
Before delving into this book, the term 'death doula' was entirely unfamiliar. Truthfully, its content acts as a trigger, evoking my inherent fear of mortality. A few years ago, I was diagnosed with clinical anxiety disorder, which meant that any abnormal changes in my body or chronic pain would trigger a flight or fight response. So, you see, the concept of death hovers like a persistent shadow. I probably shouldn't continue reading, but it's as if the book has a will—a power to choose its reader. Perhaps I am meant to engage with it despite the anxiety it may provoke.
At the heart of the story is Clover, a death doula guiding individuals and their families through the passage of dying. Orphaned in her youth, her grandfather raised Clover, introduced posthumously at the novel's outset. Her limited social connections resulted in a tolerable sense of ease. Even the morbidity of solitude became a welcoming comfort. Her social life was limited to walking her dog, playing mahjong with her widower neighbor Leo, and interacting with her clients. Little did she anticipate that meeting Claudia, a new client with little time left, would alter the course of her life.
'The Collected Regrets of Clover' is a mesmerizing debut novel, narrated in ornate, poetic prose that explores death through the lens of a death doula. For Clover, death should not be a topic anyone must avoid discussing. Her experiences with the dying led her to document their regrets in a leather-bound notebook. She embarks on fulfilling her deceased clients' 'regrets,' from seemingly trivial tasks like adopting a hamster to learning how to ice-skate. As Clover spends time with Claudia, she uncovers a beautiful untold story whose ending is still an unread page in a book. Is she prepared to fulfill the unspoken wish of a dying woman? What would her choices mean for her as well?
The book may only be for some, but it spoke to me. Clover’s story was a gift that I had to unravel little by little. I am in awe of how her narrative filled a void so vast it might have sealed shut eternally. It evoked a strong desire to connect with Clover, to journey alongside her as she rediscovers herself, shattering every vestige of self-doubt that had consumed her entire life. It will be difficult to move on from this book. The only solace I find is in owning every fragment of this narrative. If you explore this book and experience the magic within, I hope it grants you the same courage as Clover's, allowing you to conquer even a tiny space in the grand scheme of life.
At the heart of the story is Clover, a death doula guiding individuals and their families through the passage of dying. Orphaned in her youth, her grandfather raised Clover, introduced posthumously at the novel's outset. Her limited social connections resulted in a tolerable sense of ease. Even the morbidity of solitude became a welcoming comfort. Her social life was limited to walking her dog, playing mahjong with her widower neighbor Leo, and interacting with her clients. Little did she anticipate that meeting Claudia, a new client with little time left, would alter the course of her life.
'The Collected Regrets of Clover' is a mesmerizing debut novel, narrated in ornate, poetic prose that explores death through the lens of a death doula. For Clover, death should not be a topic anyone must avoid discussing. Her experiences with the dying led her to document their regrets in a leather-bound notebook. She embarks on fulfilling her deceased clients' 'regrets,' from seemingly trivial tasks like adopting a hamster to learning how to ice-skate. As Clover spends time with Claudia, she uncovers a beautiful untold story whose ending is still an unread page in a book. Is she prepared to fulfill the unspoken wish of a dying woman? What would her choices mean for her as well?
The book may only be for some, but it spoke to me. Clover’s story was a gift that I had to unravel little by little. I am in awe of how her narrative filled a void so vast it might have sealed shut eternally. It evoked a strong desire to connect with Clover, to journey alongside her as she rediscovers herself, shattering every vestige of self-doubt that had consumed her entire life. It will be difficult to move on from this book. The only solace I find is in owning every fragment of this narrative. If you explore this book and experience the magic within, I hope it grants you the same courage as Clover's, allowing you to conquer even a tiny space in the grand scheme of life.