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yurippe 's review for:
James Potter and the Hall of Elders' Crossing
by G. Norman Lippert
Do you want the short review or the long one?
Short version:
Dear Mr. Lippert,
please go back and read the original books.
Sincerely,
the Canon Police
Long version:
While all the canon discrepancies occuring in this piece of work weren't my only complaint, they are one of the biggest factors that kept me from enjoying this fanfiction. Lippert certainly isn't a bad writer, and I might have actually liked an original work of his. This, however... I don't know why he changed so many details from the original books. I wonder if he just didn't do his research or if he actually believed that the changes he made were good, but I suspect it's a combination of both and frankly, I don't even care. Both reasons are pretty obnoxious if you are playing in someone else's sandbox.
There are some throwaway remarks about certain things that feel like he put them in at a later point after someone pointed out his mistakes, along the lines of "this used to be different, but it's like this now", without any actual explanation or any need for the change at all. A lot of what he does feels really odd (like first-years and seven-years taking the same classes - how would that even work and why would they want that?) and/or gratuitous.
Speaking of gratuitous, he threw Americans into the mix as well. Not just one, oh no, a whole delegation. We get it, Mr. Lippert, you love America. I don't have anything against Americans either, as long as they're not trying to shove their culture down my throat - which is what is going on here, and very heavily. Not only did Hogwarts apparently adapt the US High School System (as I mentioned above), all the American characters are so much more interesting and clever and funny than the British ones. Also, a wizard child would not get into Hogwarts simply because his American parents are on a business trip in the UK at that time, and he would also most certainly not transfer schools the next year, because boarding schools mean it doesn't matter where your parents live. And this is just one of the serious logic and canon research fails that I found really distracting.
An American student in Hogwarts is not the biggest fanfiction cliché trap this story falls into, though: Voldemort has an heir! I think I don't need to tell you how unlikely that is, considering Voldemort a) considerered his own plan and his Horcruxes fail-proof and b) he didn't want anyone to continue his work, his big aim was to stay alive forever.
Apart from these problems, we also have canon characters act out of character (biggest offender: Minerva McGonagall), too much going on at once, some problems only existing because the author decides that no one will do anything against them and had stupid out of character moments (never heard of obliviators?!), a lack of sympathetic female characters and, deadly for a Harry Potter fic, a lack of overall magic. I don't read fantasy to be told about kids playing football. (I didn't actually mind the Technomancy lessions per se, they were interesting enough, but they also took away from the "real" magic and the fact that they were delivered by an American came across as somewhat obnoxious.)
I also found the end a little... underwhelming, and some plot elements were too similar to Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (that's the Sorcerer's Stone for you, Mr. Lippert), for example James suspecting a Professor of being the bad guy when he was actually trying to protect the artifact (Snape, anyone?) and the three artifacts reminded me of the Deathly Hallows.
Also, this is a rather personal complaint, but the Progressive Element, one of the antagonists in the story, made me really angry. I know you're supposed to hate villains, and I certainly hated Voldemort more than I hate Tabitha Corsica, but at least Voldemort was treated as a villain in-universe and there was an actual effort to stop him. Tabitha spreads her propaganda lies freely under McGonagall's watch (who just shrugs her off with some half-arsed explanation to James about free speech) and about half of the Hogwarts population believes her, despite their own parents actually having lived through Voldemort's reign of terror. This is what really got to me while reading. Tabitha seems like some miniature version of Umbridge, only that Umbridge was hated by everyone in the books as well as outside and in the end got what she deserved. Of course, this is only book one of a series, but I would have liked a bit more closure in that regard. (Actually, I kept wishing Hermione would come and wipe the floor with her.) Again, Lippert created something to be a big problem when it would have been easily solved if not all the characters had been holding the idiot ball.
Also, the Muggle intruder managed to get into the school by following the signal of a game device someone brought to Hogwarts - I'm no expert on technology, but wouldn't Hogwarts need to have a working Wi-Fi or 3G network for that?
Another thing that upset me was something a lot of fanfiction writers like to do to Hermione for some reason, only that it was done to a different character here: Muggle-borns can't be talented wizards and witches, they must have some pureblood ancestry! This totally destroys the message of the original books: that blood status doesn't matter.
I guess I was mostly disappointed because this story had such a big hype around it, being called "almost as good as a real Rowling continuation", and I just didn't feel that way. As I said, Mr. Lippert isn't a bad writer, but he's terrible at playing in other people's sandboxes.
There were certain things that I liked, for examples James struggling with his father's image (although that's such a no-brainer most people get at least that part in their stories), and the story did have a few (very few) moments where I laughed out loud reading, but overall... I can't recommend this. Sure, if you don't mind the canon discrepancies, you might enjoy it more than I did, but if you're a real Harry Potter fan, you're probably better off looking for something else. (Personally, I will read volume 1 of the Albus Potter series next and I really hope that I will like it better than this!)
Short version:
Dear Mr. Lippert,
please go back and read the original books.
Sincerely,
the Canon Police
Long version:
While all the canon discrepancies occuring in this piece of work weren't my only complaint, they are one of the biggest factors that kept me from enjoying this fanfiction. Lippert certainly isn't a bad writer, and I might have actually liked an original work of his. This, however... I don't know why he changed so many details from the original books. I wonder if he just didn't do his research or if he actually believed that the changes he made were good, but I suspect it's a combination of both and frankly, I don't even care. Both reasons are pretty obnoxious if you are playing in someone else's sandbox.
There are some throwaway remarks about certain things that feel like he put them in at a later point after someone pointed out his mistakes, along the lines of "this used to be different, but it's like this now", without any actual explanation or any need for the change at all. A lot of what he does feels really odd (like first-years and seven-years taking the same classes - how would that even work and why would they want that?) and/or gratuitous.
Speaking of gratuitous, he threw Americans into the mix as well. Not just one, oh no, a whole delegation. We get it, Mr. Lippert, you love America. I don't have anything against Americans either, as long as they're not trying to shove their culture down my throat - which is what is going on here, and very heavily. Not only did Hogwarts apparently adapt the US High School System (as I mentioned above), all the American characters are so much more interesting and clever and funny than the British ones. Also, a wizard child would not get into Hogwarts simply because his American parents are on a business trip in the UK at that time, and he would also most certainly not transfer schools the next year, because boarding schools mean it doesn't matter where your parents live. And this is just one of the serious logic and canon research fails that I found really distracting.
An American student in Hogwarts is not the biggest fanfiction cliché trap this story falls into, though:
Apart from these problems, we also have canon characters act out of character (biggest offender: Minerva McGonagall), too much going on at once, some problems only existing because the author decides that no one will do anything against them and had stupid out of character moments (never heard of obliviators?!), a lack of sympathetic female characters and, deadly for a Harry Potter fic, a lack of overall magic. I don't read fantasy to be told about kids playing football. (I didn't actually mind the Technomancy lessions per se, they were interesting enough, but they also took away from the "real" magic and the fact that they were delivered by an American came across as somewhat obnoxious.)
I also found the end a little... underwhelming, and some plot elements were too similar to Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (that's the Sorcerer's Stone for you, Mr. Lippert), for example
Also, this is a rather personal complaint, but the Progressive Element, one of the antagonists in the story, made me really angry. I know you're supposed to hate villains, and I certainly hated Voldemort more than I hate Tabitha Corsica, but at least Voldemort was treated as a villain in-universe and there was an actual effort to stop him. Tabitha spreads her propaganda lies freely under McGonagall's watch (who just shrugs her off with some half-arsed explanation to James about free speech) and about half of the Hogwarts population believes her, despite their own parents actually having lived through Voldemort's reign of terror. This is what really got to me while reading. Tabitha seems like some miniature version of Umbridge, only that Umbridge was hated by everyone in the books as well as outside and in the end got what she deserved. Of course, this is only book one of a series, but I would have liked a bit more closure in that regard. (Actually, I kept wishing Hermione would come and wipe the floor with her.) Again, Lippert created something to be a big problem when it would have been easily solved if not all the characters had been holding the idiot ball.
Another thing that upset me was something a lot of fanfiction writers like to do to Hermione for some reason, only that it was done to a different character here:
I guess I was mostly disappointed because this story had such a big hype around it, being called "almost as good as a real Rowling continuation", and I just didn't feel that way. As I said, Mr. Lippert isn't a bad writer, but he's terrible at playing in other people's sandboxes.
There were certain things that I liked, for examples James struggling with his father's image (although that's such a no-brainer most people get at least that part in their stories), and the story did have a few (very few) moments where I laughed out loud reading, but overall... I can't recommend this. Sure, if you don't mind the canon discrepancies, you might enjoy it more than I did, but if you're a real Harry Potter fan, you're probably better off looking for something else. (Personally, I will read volume 1 of the Albus Potter series next and I really hope that I will like it better than this!)