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skylarh 's review for:
While I did do quite a bit of highlighting, overall, I was a bit disappointed in this book. Aside from the style--somewhat disorganized, highly repetitive (60-100 pages could have been shaved), and far too many anecdotes--it didn't really contain much new on introversion.
Yes, I had many "Aha!" moments—"Hey, that's me!" And yes, it's encouraging to have someone say, basically, "No, introverts are not weak and antisocial--they're introverts, and they're damn valuable." That said, I guess I was hoping for a book I could hand off to an extroverted family member and say, "Here, this will help you understand me better." This wasn't it. At the beginning at least (less so as it progresses), the book offers a sort of us vs. them picture in which extroverts are painted as inferior. I guess this is to compensate for the fact that American society has for years had the opposite bias, but the presentation doesn't make one eager to share the book with the extroverted love in his or her life. Also, the chapter I hoped to be most helpful--on introverted/extroverted romantic relationships--fell somewhat flat for me. While there were certainly some highlights, I don't think it really got extroverts right--it portrayed, specifically, a kind of aggressive extrovert rather than a general extrovert.
When it came to describing introverts, despite the many aha moments, I felt the book had too much emphasis on speaking up in academic settings and public speaking, which have never been much of an issue for me personally despite my scoring 96 percent on the introversion scale. When there is a substantial topic of interest to address, talking is not an issue, I don't think, any more for introverts than for extroverts. Many people struggle with public speaking, but I'm not sure it is primarily a reflection of introversion.
I also think the author confuses the authoratarianism in Asian culture with introversion and talks as though what are primarily cultural differences are owing to personality differences. The chapters on parenting seemed too obvious to me as an introvert, though an extrovert parent might find them helpful. The most interesting portion to me was the history of how extroversion became the preferred orientation in modern American society. Aditionally, some of the stuff about HSMs and LSMs was a bit of a slap upside my head to encourage me to at least try to be a little more HSM.
Yes, I had many "Aha!" moments—"Hey, that's me!" And yes, it's encouraging to have someone say, basically, "No, introverts are not weak and antisocial--they're introverts, and they're damn valuable." That said, I guess I was hoping for a book I could hand off to an extroverted family member and say, "Here, this will help you understand me better." This wasn't it. At the beginning at least (less so as it progresses), the book offers a sort of us vs. them picture in which extroverts are painted as inferior. I guess this is to compensate for the fact that American society has for years had the opposite bias, but the presentation doesn't make one eager to share the book with the extroverted love in his or her life. Also, the chapter I hoped to be most helpful--on introverted/extroverted romantic relationships--fell somewhat flat for me. While there were certainly some highlights, I don't think it really got extroverts right--it portrayed, specifically, a kind of aggressive extrovert rather than a general extrovert.
When it came to describing introverts, despite the many aha moments, I felt the book had too much emphasis on speaking up in academic settings and public speaking, which have never been much of an issue for me personally despite my scoring 96 percent on the introversion scale. When there is a substantial topic of interest to address, talking is not an issue, I don't think, any more for introverts than for extroverts. Many people struggle with public speaking, but I'm not sure it is primarily a reflection of introversion.
I also think the author confuses the authoratarianism in Asian culture with introversion and talks as though what are primarily cultural differences are owing to personality differences. The chapters on parenting seemed too obvious to me as an introvert, though an extrovert parent might find them helpful. The most interesting portion to me was the history of how extroversion became the preferred orientation in modern American society. Aditionally, some of the stuff about HSMs and LSMs was a bit of a slap upside my head to encourage me to at least try to be a little more HSM.