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A review by yajairat
Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar
emotional
mysterious
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Went into this completely blind and was blown away. I love when poets delve into novels or long-form writing. It makes for beautiful prose, I was in awe at times while reading this book. So many components that made up this story, here are some of my favorite things about it.
- I loved Cyrus as a character! He went through a lot, and at times I felt sad that maybe he'd reached his breaking point. But I am leaving his story with a sense of hope that maybe he has found some peace within himself.
- Zee who deserves everything good in this world. I am very surprised that my favorite love stories this year are in books where I was not expecting them. But I'm here for it! His friendship and devotion to Cyrus tugged at my heartstrings. How lucky he is to have someone that sees him completely and loves him as is.
- I appreciated this story being rooted in an actual historical event. I was unaware that an Iranian airliner was destroyed by the US government. surprised? not at all, this empire is evil! I liked that from there we see the lives of these family members that were affected by this event. When these tragedies occur, and we see mass casualties, it can be so easy to view everything abstractly. People killed are just numbers in a news headline. But stories like these can help us humanize those that are lost. I want to keep that in mind moving forward.
- there is a part in this book where Cyrus receives a shocking piece of news, and he is taking time to process the emotions coming up. There were some wonderful words about feeling anger, the ugliness of anger. also about fear, and what purpose it can serve. Made me reflect a little about my feelings of fear and my thoughts about anger.
- also some powerful words about addiction and learning how to live in sobriety. I don't have much knowledge on it, so it was insightful to learn a bit about both topics.
Overall, this book was profound, beautifully written, whimsical at times, sad, hopeful. I would say my only gripe with it is the big reveal. I would've preferred if things had gone another way, but doesn't trump my enjoyment of this.
" What was left of his life had no intrinsic meaning, he knew, since such meaning could only be shaped in relation to other people."
"Stories are the excrement of time. Someone said that. 'Adelia Prado'" - graphic but also yes!
"Cyrus also worried that the whole idea of gratitude was possibly classist, or worse... It's possible, he thought, that the experience of gratitude was itself a luxury, a topless convertible driven through a rainless life."
"It seems very American to expect grief to change something. Like a token you cash in. A formula. Grieve x amount, receive y amount of comfort."
"Anyone can see you cry. We all act like it's this big deal, but it happens all the time. We're just these idiot animals about it. But to be with someone while they cry naked? That's real intimacy."
"If the mortal sin of the suicide is greed, to hoard stillness and calm for yourself while dispersing your riotous internal pain among all those who survive you, then the mortal sin of the martyr must be pride, the vanity, the hubris to believe not only that your death could mean more than your living, but that your death could mean more than death itself- which, because it is inevitable, means nothing."
"Eight of the ten commandments are about what thou shalt not. But you can live a whole life not doing any of that stuff and still avoid doing any good. That's the whole crisis. the rot at the root of everything. The belief that goodness is built on a constructed absence, not doing."
"For normal people, drinking is an activity, like brushing their teeth or watching TV. They can reasonably imagine excising drinking, like any other activity, without collapsing their entire person. For a drunk, there's nothing but drink. there was nothing in my life that wasn't predicated on getting drunk - either getting fucked up itself or getting money to get fucked up by working or slinking this drug for that drug or that drug for cash. Getting sober means having to figure out how to spend twenty four hours a day...
there's no abstinence in it. There' no self-will. It's a chisel. It's surrender to the chisel. Of course you don't hope to come out a David. It's miracle enough to emerge still standing on two feet."
"You think there's some nobility in being above anger? Anger is a kind of fear. and fear saved you... fear made me work hard, get better. It's a dirty fuel, but it works."
"Underneath being-startled is the expectation of calm... I mean, a person gasps because the ease they were expecting was interrupted. I think probably your life hasn't taught you to expect ease."
- I loved Cyrus as a character! He went through a lot, and at times I felt sad that maybe he'd reached his breaking point. But I am leaving his story with a sense of hope that maybe he has found some peace within himself.
- Zee who deserves everything good in this world. I am very surprised that my favorite love stories this year are in books where I was not expecting them. But I'm here for it! His friendship and devotion to Cyrus tugged at my heartstrings. How lucky he is to have someone that sees him completely and loves him as is.
- I appreciated this story being rooted in an actual historical event. I was unaware that an Iranian airliner was destroyed by the US government. surprised? not at all, this empire is evil! I liked that from there we see the lives of these family members that were affected by this event. When these tragedies occur, and we see mass casualties, it can be so easy to view everything abstractly. People killed are just numbers in a news headline. But stories like these can help us humanize those that are lost. I want to keep that in mind moving forward.
- there is a part in this book where Cyrus receives a shocking piece of news, and he is taking time to process the emotions coming up. There were some wonderful words about feeling anger, the ugliness of anger. also about fear, and what purpose it can serve. Made me reflect a little about my feelings of fear and my thoughts about anger.
- also some powerful words about addiction and learning how to live in sobriety. I don't have much knowledge on it, so it was insightful to learn a bit about both topics.
Overall, this book was profound, beautifully written, whimsical at times, sad, hopeful. I would say my only gripe with it is the big reveal. I would've preferred if things had gone another way, but doesn't trump my enjoyment of this.
" What was left of his life had no intrinsic meaning, he knew, since such meaning could only be shaped in relation to other people."
"Stories are the excrement of time. Someone said that. 'Adelia Prado'" - graphic but also yes!
"Cyrus also worried that the whole idea of gratitude was possibly classist, or worse... It's possible, he thought, that the experience of gratitude was itself a luxury, a topless convertible driven through a rainless life."
"It seems very American to expect grief to change something. Like a token you cash in. A formula. Grieve x amount, receive y amount of comfort."
"Anyone can see you cry. We all act like it's this big deal, but it happens all the time. We're just these idiot animals about it. But to be with someone while they cry naked? That's real intimacy."
"If the mortal sin of the suicide is greed, to hoard stillness and calm for yourself while dispersing your riotous internal pain among all those who survive you, then the mortal sin of the martyr must be pride, the vanity, the hubris to believe not only that your death could mean more than your living, but that your death could mean more than death itself- which, because it is inevitable, means nothing."
"Eight of the ten commandments are about what thou shalt not. But you can live a whole life not doing any of that stuff and still avoid doing any good. That's the whole crisis. the rot at the root of everything. The belief that goodness is built on a constructed absence, not doing."
"For normal people, drinking is an activity, like brushing their teeth or watching TV. They can reasonably imagine excising drinking, like any other activity, without collapsing their entire person. For a drunk, there's nothing but drink. there was nothing in my life that wasn't predicated on getting drunk - either getting fucked up itself or getting money to get fucked up by working or slinking this drug for that drug or that drug for cash. Getting sober means having to figure out how to spend twenty four hours a day...
there's no abstinence in it. There' no self-will. It's a chisel. It's surrender to the chisel. Of course you don't hope to come out a David. It's miracle enough to emerge still standing on two feet."
"You think there's some nobility in being above anger? Anger is a kind of fear. and fear saved you... fear made me work hard, get better. It's a dirty fuel, but it works."
"Underneath being-startled is the expectation of calm... I mean, a person gasps because the ease they were expecting was interrupted. I think probably your life hasn't taught you to expect ease."
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Death of parent, Alcoholism, and Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Drug use