A review by kjersa
It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle by Mark Wolynn

3.0

Like, 3.25 stars. There’s a lot of negative reviews on this book, and it’s understandable. Some of the language is a little insensitive at first, but I think that was the author’s attempt to relate to everyone of almost all familial backgrounds, starting with and prioritizing the people who have an ultimately good relationship with their families. Additionally, some of the “real life” examples he gave felt…not real and cheesy? With the mindset that I’m leaving what doesn’t resonate and taking what does, he has a lot of good points on carrying the plights of our family. And not just our parents, but of extended family too. Nervous energy around something like relationships can stem from something FAR back. Like something internalized by a great grand parent that was instilled via strong morals around something by your grandparents to your parent to you - and it can effect you greatly. I felt like ultimately, I enjoyed 35% of the book and was confused and/or disliked 65% of the book. But the 35% was kinda lit.