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rhi 's review for:
As Far as You'll Take Me
by Phil Stamper
i will probably be forever confused about my rating for this book. i have literally slept on it to come to the same conclusion: while this was sweet and normally the sort of slice-of-life story i love, this didn't work for me for some major reasons.
i'm not getting into it all here, and i wish i loved this more because the parts that worked for me are worth a lot, and they're the reason this isn't a lower rating. but i was considering a 2.5 star - and i tend to give out anything below a 3 rarely, jsyk - for this because of some things. this may turn into a bit of a rant review, but i need to get my feelings out there. however, the things that didn't work for me are not indicative of what you will like, and the audience of this book (not me) will probably be fine with it, because i know the queer community does often have some problems with the main thing i felt annoyed me about the book.
**i'll try and spoiler mark explicit things, but go into this knowing i'll be discussing themes that may be considered spoilery**
first, i hated most of the characters. pierce especially, and marty for doing all that stuff (and this is mostly directed at my hate of feeling second hand stupidity from characters. one of the things i absolutely LOVED about this book was the anxiety rep in our MC, because that was so relatable and absolutely incredible. 5/5). dani, ajay, sophie, and shane? i love you, would die for you. it was also a situation where the side characters (eg. anyone except the MC and their love interest) were trying so hard to be fleshed out and individual, but it only kind of worked. megan and skye... don't get me started.
since i should be somewhat positive, i'll alternate - one bad thing for one good thing! my good thing, and the saving grace of this book: the anxiety representation. barring a couple of exceptions that will always mean the world to me, this book has one of the best anxiety portrayals i've seen. it was painfully relatable as a teen also with anxiety, and while it's a broad spectrum that won't be the same for everyone, this specific rep for me meant a lot. marty is me, and has been in a lot of cases in my life. thankfully i've never had a megan or anyone like that, but his experience is one of my favourites in YA right now, and i love it so much.
here is where i get pretty spoilery. and what i'm about to say is a bit controversial, but screw it.
the way religion and christianity is portrayed in this book is very antagonistic, and i wish there had been something to show that on the blurb because i would have gone into this book with a very different mindset.
i understand many queer people have a less than great relationship with the church, and this is in no way meant to invalidate that. i am sorry if you have ever felt less than or not enough or anything that makes you feel upset or uncomfortable because of religion. i personally have a very complicated relationship with religion, and while i don't want to get into it i feel there were some aspects of this book that focused on the church as the villian in this story, and the way marty constantly rejects this and has this belief that all christians are homophobic is painful to read. this idea isn't challenged until the end, where. other than this, the whole way through the book (with the exception of the scene at the Duomo) religion and the church is showed to the reader as the be-all and end-all of queer pain.
i have many problems with this, but i do recognise that many people - and many queer people, who are the 'main audience' for this book - have issues with the church. religion was not forced on me like it was marty growing up, and it has never been a problem for my immediate family to accept members of the queer community. i know that this is not the case for many, and especially in kentucky, where the majority of the hate takes place. this is by no way your fault, however i was hurt by this portrayal. i also wish that given how heavily the topic features in the book, that there was some warning or some description in the blurb.
one of the best queer and religious representation in books i've read is autoboyography, which deals with religion in the forefront, yet is much less antagonistic about it. i would highly recommend that for another perspective from similar topics (and no, it doesn't end with the queer character being 'cured').
for my other positive thing, i guess the music? and the toxic friendships and relationships, and learning to cut that out of your life!! you don't need it!!
overall, i wasn't impressed with this book like i thought i would be, but i think that's a lot to do with me and what i thought this book would be, versus what it actually was. this was definitely a 'it's not you it's me' thing, and once again, i'm in no way trying to invalidate the people who's experience is similar to marty's (or the authors) because i understand how painful that could be. <3
(the more i wrote of this review the less i liked the book.... 2.5 it is)
**OH!!! SIDE NOTE FIVE MINUTES AFTER!!!
along with no warning for religion (and look, it probably could have been inferred. i'm just sad.) there was no warning for the disordered eating?? and the unhealthy relationship to food that marty experienced that once again, is a massive part of the book?? unlike picture us in the light (which also deals with content that could be triggering to some), where to explain this would be spoiling a big part of the mystery of the novel, the addition of this would cause little to no effect on enjoyment of knowing how it plays out, except people who are triggered by this likely wouldn't pick this up or would have sufficient knowledge. once again, something that i feel could have been mentioned.
i'm not getting into it all here, and i wish i loved this more because the parts that worked for me are worth a lot, and they're the reason this isn't a lower rating. but i was considering a 2.5 star - and i tend to give out anything below a 3 rarely, jsyk - for this because of some things. this may turn into a bit of a rant review, but i need to get my feelings out there. however, the things that didn't work for me are not indicative of what you will like, and the audience of this book (not me) will probably be fine with it, because i know the queer community does often have some problems with the main thing i felt annoyed me about the book.
**i'll try and spoiler mark explicit things, but go into this knowing i'll be discussing themes that may be considered spoilery**
first, i hated most of the characters. pierce especially, and marty for doing all that stuff (and this is mostly directed at my hate of feeling second hand stupidity from characters. one of the things i absolutely LOVED about this book was the anxiety rep in our MC, because that was so relatable and absolutely incredible. 5/5). dani, ajay, sophie, and shane? i love you, would die for you. it was also a situation where the side characters (eg. anyone except the MC and their love interest) were trying so hard to be fleshed out and individual, but it only kind of worked. megan and skye... don't get me started.
since i should be somewhat positive, i'll alternate - one bad thing for one good thing! my good thing, and the saving grace of this book: the anxiety representation. barring a couple of exceptions that will always mean the world to me, this book has one of the best anxiety portrayals i've seen. it was painfully relatable as a teen also with anxiety, and while it's a broad spectrum that won't be the same for everyone, this specific rep for me meant a lot. marty is me, and has been in a lot of cases in my life. thankfully i've never had a megan or anyone like that, but his experience is one of my favourites in YA right now, and i love it so much.
here is where i get pretty spoilery. and what i'm about to say is a bit controversial, but screw it.
the way religion and christianity is portrayed in this book is very antagonistic, and i wish there had been something to show that on the blurb because i would have gone into this book with a very different mindset.
i understand many queer people have a less than great relationship with the church, and this is in no way meant to invalidate that. i am sorry if you have ever felt less than or not enough or anything that makes you feel upset or uncomfortable because of religion. i personally have a very complicated relationship with religion, and while i don't want to get into it i feel there were some aspects of this book that focused on the church as the villian in this story, and the way marty constantly rejects this and has this belief that all christians are homophobic is painful to read. this idea isn't challenged until the end, where
Spoiler
his mother sends an email that tells him that they (his parents) are finding another, more inclusive church (which i can only assume means not homophobic, in this case)i have many problems with this, but i do recognise that many people - and many queer people, who are the 'main audience' for this book - have issues with the church. religion was not forced on me like it was marty growing up, and it has never been a problem for my immediate family to accept members of the queer community. i know that this is not the case for many, and especially in kentucky, where the majority of the hate takes place. this is by no way your fault, however i was hurt by this portrayal. i also wish that given how heavily the topic features in the book, that there was some warning or some description in the blurb.
one of the best queer and religious representation in books i've read is autoboyography, which deals with religion in the forefront, yet is much less antagonistic about it. i would highly recommend that for another perspective from similar topics (and no, it doesn't end with the queer character being 'cured').
for my other positive thing, i guess the music? and the toxic friendships and relationships, and learning to cut that out of your life!! you don't need it!!
overall, i wasn't impressed with this book like i thought i would be, but i think that's a lot to do with me and what i thought this book would be, versus what it actually was. this was definitely a 'it's not you it's me' thing, and once again, i'm in no way trying to invalidate the people who's experience is similar to marty's (or the authors) because i understand how painful that could be. <3
(the more i wrote of this review the less i liked the book.... 2.5 it is)
**OH!!! SIDE NOTE FIVE MINUTES AFTER!!!
along with no warning for religion (and look, it probably could have been inferred. i'm just sad.) there was no warning for the disordered eating?? and the unhealthy relationship to food that marty experienced that once again, is a massive part of the book?? unlike picture us in the light (which also deals with content that could be triggering to some), where to explain this would be spoiling a big part of the mystery of the novel, the addition of this would cause little to no effect on enjoyment of knowing how it plays out, except people who are triggered by this likely wouldn't pick this up or would have sufficient knowledge. once again, something that i feel could have been mentioned.