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A review by punkcalf
Vampires Never Get Old: Tales with Fresh Bite by Natalie C. Parker, Zoraida Córdova
2.0
For 2022 I want to review every book I read. This book I purchased a while ago when reading was a bit tougher for me and I wanted short stories and hey, I like vampires. Especially fresh tales on them so here are my quick-fire review of every story in this book:
Seven Nights for Dying by Tessa Gratton ⭐️⭐️⭐️
This one was fun! I like the whole idea of the bitten person being in control over their fate, rather than it having been a done deal. I love how inclusive this story was as well. The writing style just didn't do it for me though and it dragged on a bit longer than it should. Still a solid three stars!
The House of Black Sapphires by Dhonielle Clayton DNF
I'm sorry but it was mostly the way this was written. It was just block of text after block of text after block of test. I just got so overwhelmed that I couldn't finish this, I'm sorry. I did really dig the plot and I will try to reread this story once I get to be a more stable set of mind but as it stands, sorry.
The Boys From Blood River by Rebecca Roanhorse ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I really liked this one! I liked the fighting back against bullies part but choosing to not go too far in your hatred. I did wish the ending was a little more satisfactionary but still, a great quick read with fun characters. What can I say, I love me some morally grey characters!
Senior Year Sucks by Julie Murphy ⭐️
Julie Murphy still thinks being fat is a character trait. I hate how she writes her characters and how much emphasis she puts on their bodies. The main character is a cheerleader vampire hunter but she's also fat and everyone else is skinny. Also this story is just confusing. There is some sort of home for vampires but sometimes i got the idea it was more of a rehab type and sometimes it felt like they were killed there? Anyway it ends with a kiss and that's it. Bad.
The Boy and the Bell by Heidi Heilig ⭐️
Ah, well. I liked the idea of this story as I really am fascinated by the old practice of graverobbing done in the UK for medical science purposes. I didn't know that was a thing until recently and the whole idea of it just pulls me towards it somehow but this wasn't great. I hated that the bad guy just had to be transphobe. It just left a bitter taste in my mouth and he could be bad enough just as a vampire but nope, had to take it one step beyond.
A Guidebook for the Newly Sired Desi Vampire by Samira Ahmed ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Great fun! It's a website / video briefing for a new Desi vampire and the way it's written is just so playful and fun and the little jokes just really had me laughing out loud. Not much to say about this other than it was really great!
Bestiary by Laura Ruby ⭐️
Eh... girl is a vampire but she can walk in daylight? And there is no water anymore as well. Also she can talk to animals and there is some rich guy and a handsome guy. I don't know. I was 100% bored.
Vampires Never Say Die by Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker ⭐️⭐️⭐️
I know some people hate this one because of the age gap, but then again, it's a story with a vampire. An age gap is going to happen one way or the other. My biggest problem with this story was that it was just a bit boring and confusing. It's about vampires on instagram and they talk to a girl who hosts a party for them. I don't know. It's just, weird...
First Kill by Victoria “V. E.” Schwab ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
A great one again! About a teenage vampire and a teenage hunter. I loved the little world building the author did with what little pages they had and the characters were fun and relatable! A fun short read that got me excited for the other Schwab books I have on my shelves for sure!
In Kind by Kayla Whaley ⭐️⭐️
Yeah this is a bit controversial as most people really liked this but it just didn't do it for me, I'm sorry. I liked what the author tried to do but it felt a little clumsy mostly because it was a short story, rather than a novella or a novel. I couldn't get attached to these characters [maybe because of my autism, I don't know] so what happened to them didn't really get to me. Sorry!
Mirrors, Windows & Selfies by Mark Oshiro⭐️⭐️
This one is just messy. I didn't hate it but it doesn't end on a good conclusion. We never learn why he was lied to and why others lied to them? Like it's a fine story but we are left with no conclusion so why add it at all ?
I also hated the Tumblr format so much. There is no way a story can get that many notes unless it's horse plinko
Overall, this book just isn't it. It doesn't revive the vampire YA genre and most stories feel weird or fall flat for me. If you truly enjoyed this, all the power to you but it was a big fat miss for me.
Seven Nights for Dying by Tessa Gratton ⭐️⭐️⭐️
This one was fun! I like the whole idea of the bitten person being in control over their fate, rather than it having been a done deal. I love how inclusive this story was as well. The writing style just didn't do it for me though and it dragged on a bit longer than it should. Still a solid three stars!
The House of Black Sapphires by Dhonielle Clayton DNF
I'm sorry but it was mostly the way this was written. It was just block of text after block of text after block of test. I just got so overwhelmed that I couldn't finish this, I'm sorry. I did really dig the plot and I will try to reread this story once I get to be a more stable set of mind but as it stands, sorry.
The Boys From Blood River by Rebecca Roanhorse ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I really liked this one! I liked the fighting back against bullies part but choosing to not go too far in your hatred. I did wish the ending was a little more satisfactionary but still, a great quick read with fun characters. What can I say, I love me some morally grey characters!
Senior Year Sucks by Julie Murphy ⭐️
Julie Murphy still thinks being fat is a character trait. I hate how she writes her characters and how much emphasis she puts on their bodies. The main character is a cheerleader vampire hunter but she's also fat and everyone else is skinny. Also this story is just confusing. There is some sort of home for vampires but sometimes i got the idea it was more of a rehab type and sometimes it felt like they were killed there? Anyway it ends with a kiss and that's it. Bad.
The Boy and the Bell by Heidi Heilig ⭐️
Ah, well. I liked the idea of this story as I really am fascinated by the old practice of graverobbing done in the UK for medical science purposes. I didn't know that was a thing until recently and the whole idea of it just pulls me towards it somehow but this wasn't great. I hated that the bad guy just had to be transphobe. It just left a bitter taste in my mouth and he could be bad enough just as a vampire but nope, had to take it one step beyond.
A Guidebook for the Newly Sired Desi Vampire by Samira Ahmed ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Great fun! It's a website / video briefing for a new Desi vampire and the way it's written is just so playful and fun and the little jokes just really had me laughing out loud. Not much to say about this other than it was really great!
Bestiary by Laura Ruby ⭐️
Eh... girl is a vampire but she can walk in daylight? And there is no water anymore as well. Also she can talk to animals and there is some rich guy and a handsome guy. I don't know. I was 100% bored.
Vampires Never Say Die by Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker ⭐️⭐️⭐️
I know some people hate this one because of the age gap, but then again, it's a story with a vampire. An age gap is going to happen one way or the other. My biggest problem with this story was that it was just a bit boring and confusing. It's about vampires on instagram and they talk to a girl who hosts a party for them. I don't know. It's just, weird...
First Kill by Victoria “V. E.” Schwab ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
A great one again! About a teenage vampire and a teenage hunter. I loved the little world building the author did with what little pages they had and the characters were fun and relatable! A fun short read that got me excited for the other Schwab books I have on my shelves for sure!
In Kind by Kayla Whaley ⭐️⭐️
Yeah this is a bit controversial as most people really liked this but it just didn't do it for me, I'm sorry. I liked what the author tried to do but it felt a little clumsy mostly because it was a short story, rather than a novella or a novel. I couldn't get attached to these characters [maybe because of my autism, I don't know] so what happened to them didn't really get to me. Sorry!
Mirrors, Windows & Selfies by Mark Oshiro⭐️⭐️
This one is just messy. I didn't hate it but it doesn't end on a good conclusion. We never learn why he was lied to and why others lied to them? Like it's a fine story but we are left with no conclusion so why add it at all ?
I also hated the Tumblr format so much. There is no way a story can get that many notes unless it's horse plinko
Overall, this book just isn't it. It doesn't revive the vampire YA genre and most stories feel weird or fall flat for me. If you truly enjoyed this, all the power to you but it was a big fat miss for me.