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A review by lizbarr
Mennonite in a Little Black Dress: A Memoir of Going Home by Rhoda Janzen
2.0
In which the author, after her marriage ends and she suffers a serious car accident, goes home to her parents, members of the conservative Mennonite community.
It probably says something about my upbringing that I was really struck by the lack of abuse in this book. Actually, no, that’s not true — Janzen’s account of her time with her family also unfolds, slowly, the abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband — but the only terrible things her conservative! religious! family did to her involved making her wear nerdy clothes, and sending her out into the world with no sense of self-preservation against predators.
I was slightly disappointed that Janzen’s family aren’t the conservative Mennonites of the kind I saw in Canada. Her parents had that lifestyle growing up, but were liberal enough to own a car and a modern house. And her mother had a nursing career. (By the time Jenzen returns, they’re so liberal her mother asks why she’s not showing off her legs in attractive shorts at a Mennonite gathering.) But if you’re coming into this book hoping for a look at the lifestyle of the very conservative and technology-rejecting, you’re going to be disappointed. We only get glimpses of that.
On the other hand, Janzen has an amazing ear for dialogue, and every character has a distinctive voice that feels very real. And her observations about the Mennonite church, German-American-Canadian culture, and growing up in an eccentric and loving family are really fun to read.
There’s another book in here, though, which is about Janzen coming to terms with her marriage. At first she seems to have come out of a relatively normal marriage that ended when her husband left her for a man he met on the internet. Then, in a trickle, we learn more about his abuse, his refusal to hold a job (because it would interfere with his creativity), his financial exploitation, threats of violence, etc. Janzen seems at times a little too preoccupied with her husband’s sexuality and his new partner’s penis, but it’s very clear this book was written while she was still processing and coming to terms with everything. The story is told in a very light, breezy, funny style, so it comes as a shock when her ex almost attacks her when she turns up for a court appearance (and he subpoenaed her!), and her lawyer advises her to hide in the bathroom after the hearing, so he doesn’t have a chance to attack her.
The two books don’t quite sit together properly, even united by Janzen’s distinctive voice. I enjoyed Mennonite in a Little Black Dress, but don’t feel compelled to read the follow-up.
It probably says something about my upbringing that I was really struck by the lack of abuse in this book. Actually, no, that’s not true — Janzen’s account of her time with her family also unfolds, slowly, the abuse she suffered at the hands of her husband — but the only terrible things her conservative! religious! family did to her involved making her wear nerdy clothes, and sending her out into the world with no sense of self-preservation against predators.
I was slightly disappointed that Janzen’s family aren’t the conservative Mennonites of the kind I saw in Canada. Her parents had that lifestyle growing up, but were liberal enough to own a car and a modern house. And her mother had a nursing career. (By the time Jenzen returns, they’re so liberal her mother asks why she’s not showing off her legs in attractive shorts at a Mennonite gathering.) But if you’re coming into this book hoping for a look at the lifestyle of the very conservative and technology-rejecting, you’re going to be disappointed. We only get glimpses of that.
On the other hand, Janzen has an amazing ear for dialogue, and every character has a distinctive voice that feels very real. And her observations about the Mennonite church, German-American-Canadian culture, and growing up in an eccentric and loving family are really fun to read.
There’s another book in here, though, which is about Janzen coming to terms with her marriage. At first she seems to have come out of a relatively normal marriage that ended when her husband left her for a man he met on the internet. Then, in a trickle, we learn more about his abuse, his refusal to hold a job (because it would interfere with his creativity), his financial exploitation, threats of violence, etc. Janzen seems at times a little too preoccupied with her husband’s sexuality and his new partner’s penis, but it’s very clear this book was written while she was still processing and coming to terms with everything. The story is told in a very light, breezy, funny style, so it comes as a shock when her ex almost attacks her when she turns up for a court appearance (and he subpoenaed her!), and her lawyer advises her to hide in the bathroom after the hearing, so he doesn’t have a chance to attack her.
The two books don’t quite sit together properly, even united by Janzen’s distinctive voice. I enjoyed Mennonite in a Little Black Dress, but don’t feel compelled to read the follow-up.