A review by booksafety
Cravings of the Heart by Nicky James

5.0

Book safety, content warnings, and tropes & tags down below.

Eating was a grueling task. A process I’d learned to hate. Nothing was safe, and it was an ongoing battle with my mind to keep enough food down so I wouldn’t die.

I’m pretty sure I say the same thing every time I read a Nicky James book, but this author can write the hell out of a serious subject. You can tell she approaches it with respect and sensitivity each time, and the result is a well written beautiful book about heavy themes. This one is no different.

I can’t even imagine the exhaustion of being afraid of food, but living it through Arden in this book was powerful, and he made me want to cry and rage with him out of frustration and worry. Like that phobia isn’t a big enough challenge, he has to deal with a very religious and bigoted family with zero understanding or patience for his issues. It was hard to read at times, but I couldn’t put the book down until I finished it. There is a lot of drama going on here, but it didn’t feel gratuitous either.

My heart did a little excited skip as I remembered those days of falling over my feet, loving him as only a kid with a life-consuming crush did.

Arden reminded me of Victor Lang (Hold Me Under by Riley Nash) at times. He was so closed off and afraid of being vulnerable, that he turned the prickliness up to ten and built his walls so high no one could see over them. He kept lying/playing along with other people’s assumptions about him (being anorexic) instead of disclosing his phobia.

His love interest, Iggy, is perfect. Not actually, but pretty freaking close. He has a world of patience and a massive heart of gold. He definitely has a need to help anyone and everyone, but the way he supports and helps Arden, even when he doesn’t know what is going on, was amazing. He deserves a spot on the list of top book boyfriends, without a doubt.

I wondered for a minute if this cockiness was a façade, and if deep down, living surrounded by hatred was slowly tearing him apart.

This book deals heavily with disordered eating, body image and weight issues, but not in a way you would usually see. This is very much based on a phobia and anxiety. It’s tough to read at times, but Arden and Iggy are very solid together. I very highly recommend this book.

I must add (this is another typical one for me), I feel like maybe the bigoted family got a second chance a little too soon/too easily, even though it was a tough road getting there. I’m not at all a very forgiving person, but I guess I wanted them to work for it a little harder, lol.

Eating gave me that same overwhelming fear some people might get just before jumping out of an airplane. It swamped me, coating rational thought, and wouldn’t let me go.

Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️

⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Age gap
Brothers best friend
Phobia
Anxiety
Childhood crush
Interracial relationship
Hurt/comfort
EMT worker
Fashion designer (college student)

⚠️⚠️ Content warning ⚠️⚠️
Explicit sexual content
Eating disorder
Homophobia
Medical emergency
Religious bigotry
Near death experience (MC)
Cibophobia (fear of food)
Death of a sibling (off page, past, a few details)

⚠️⚠️⚠️ Book safety ⚠️⚠️⚠️
Cheating: No
OM/OW drama: No
Third-act breakup: No, but three weeks of no contact after first date.
POV: 1st person, dual POV
Genre: Contemporary romance, M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Versatile. No switching on page.

Lying was a huge no-no in the McMillan house. The problem was, I lied so often no one noticed the difference. Telling the truth at this point would have probably stood out more. How are you feeling? Fine. Did you eat? Yes. Did you say your prayers? Of course. How was your study date with Malcolm? Great! Lies. Lies. Lies, and I didn’t have a study date with Malcolm, I hooked up with a guy at school, and he sucked me off in the back seat of his Fiesta. Oops. Yup, still gay. I guess the good Lord hasn’t cured me yet.

All the butterflies that had followed me into his house earlier withered and died.