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A review by trywii
The Cross in the Closet by Timothy Kurek
2.0
Is this a 2.5? A 3? A 2? I have a hard time rating this.
I do believe the author is being genuine and earnest when he conducted this ‘experiment’ and wrote this book, however I feel that this is all more to benefit the author than to reach out to people who are bigoted.
True to the book summary, the author pretends to be gay for a year (including ‘coming out of the closet’ to everyone he knows’) just to see from gay people’s perspectives. There are…obviously a lot of issues that come with that.
The first is that pretending to be gay requires the author to be immersed with other LGBT folks in his community. The crux of the author’s experiment is forcing himself to interact with LGBT people (mind you, he starts this experiment when he’s still very homophobic).
This leads to him being disgusted when gay men hit on him, and while he does push back the negative thoughts, being mad/disgusted at gay men for interacting with him when he put HIMSELF into that situation is more dangerous to the actual gay guys then it was for him. Multiple times the author, in the beginning, considers reacting violently towards the people he’s forcing himself to interact with in a *gay bar*.
While he does become mild towards gay men later in the book, his ogling and flirting with lesbians doesn’t. Theres a portion where he shows up to a gay pride on a hot day and in his thoughts wishes the lesbian attendees were showing skin like the gay men. There’s also parts where he openly hits on women he knows are lesbians, but due to his experiment, it’s under the ‘haha if we were straight I’d date you’ banner.
All of this ‘undercover straight’ stuff leads to many LGBT people being very vulnerable and open with him about their lives and struggles, and it just feels kind of…scummy.
Second is that, through a conservative christian perspective, being gay is already a ‘choice’- So having the author ‘come out’ as gay only to later say ‘I’m not gay it was just an experiment’ makes me wonder if that only reaffirms what some christians already believe. The author sometimes confronts anti-gay christians and speaks with them, and it made me feel anxious that now whatever he says/does would now be on the report card on that person’s mind about gay people.
Lastly, this really, *really*, did not need to happen. It would’ve been just as impactful if not more so if the author had volunteered his time, energy, and efforts towards LGBT christians/orgs and spent time with them honestly about unlearning much of his bigoted beliefs. Even Mel White, a well-known gay christian and author, seemed hesitant about the author’s proposition of the experiment with a ‘well, if this is what you need to do to stop being a bigot…’ sort of response. Pretending to be gay for his own pilgrimage only put other gay men and women in danger for a time until he overcame his more seriously violent homophobic tendencies.
This book is not for LGBT people- It’s mostly for the author and people who are teetering on bigotry.
While I do think someone may read this book and think ‘Hmm…maybe I should stop being mean to the gays…’, it sucks that having a straight man be deceptive about his intentions towards a vulnerable minority group is what it takes.
“Stranger at the Gate” by Mel White and “Outlove” by Julie Rodgers both talk about the gay experience and the fundamentalist experience from the lives of a gay man and lesbian woman respectively.
I’d highly recommend reading those first if anything!
I do believe the author is being genuine and earnest when he conducted this ‘experiment’ and wrote this book, however I feel that this is all more to benefit the author than to reach out to people who are bigoted.
True to the book summary, the author pretends to be gay for a year (including ‘coming out of the closet’ to everyone he knows’) just to see from gay people’s perspectives. There are…obviously a lot of issues that come with that.
The first is that pretending to be gay requires the author to be immersed with other LGBT folks in his community. The crux of the author’s experiment is forcing himself to interact with LGBT people (mind you, he starts this experiment when he’s still very homophobic).
This leads to him being disgusted when gay men hit on him, and while he does push back the negative thoughts, being mad/disgusted at gay men for interacting with him when he put HIMSELF into that situation is more dangerous to the actual gay guys then it was for him. Multiple times the author, in the beginning, considers reacting violently towards the people he’s forcing himself to interact with in a *gay bar*.
While he does become mild towards gay men later in the book, his ogling and flirting with lesbians doesn’t. Theres a portion where he shows up to a gay pride on a hot day and in his thoughts wishes the lesbian attendees were showing skin like the gay men. There’s also parts where he openly hits on women he knows are lesbians, but due to his experiment, it’s under the ‘haha if we were straight I’d date you’ banner.
All of this ‘undercover straight’ stuff leads to many LGBT people being very vulnerable and open with him about their lives and struggles, and it just feels kind of…scummy.
Second is that, through a conservative christian perspective, being gay is already a ‘choice’- So having the author ‘come out’ as gay only to later say ‘I’m not gay it was just an experiment’ makes me wonder if that only reaffirms what some christians already believe. The author sometimes confronts anti-gay christians and speaks with them, and it made me feel anxious that now whatever he says/does would now be on the report card on that person’s mind about gay people.
Lastly, this really, *really*, did not need to happen. It would’ve been just as impactful if not more so if the author had volunteered his time, energy, and efforts towards LGBT christians/orgs and spent time with them honestly about unlearning much of his bigoted beliefs. Even Mel White, a well-known gay christian and author, seemed hesitant about the author’s proposition of the experiment with a ‘well, if this is what you need to do to stop being a bigot…’ sort of response. Pretending to be gay for his own pilgrimage only put other gay men and women in danger for a time until he overcame his more seriously violent homophobic tendencies.
This book is not for LGBT people- It’s mostly for the author and people who are teetering on bigotry.
While I do think someone may read this book and think ‘Hmm…maybe I should stop being mean to the gays…’, it sucks that having a straight man be deceptive about his intentions towards a vulnerable minority group is what it takes.
“Stranger at the Gate” by Mel White and “Outlove” by Julie Rodgers both talk about the gay experience and the fundamentalist experience from the lives of a gay man and lesbian woman respectively.
I’d highly recommend reading those first if anything!