A review by abbie_
Transland: Consent, Kink, and Pleasure by Mx. Sly

challenging emotional informative reflective medium-paced

4.5

I absolutely loved this memoir, one of the most candid and raw memoirs I’ve read. Mx. Sly invites the reader into the most intimate places, laying bare their experiences with Canada’s kink and BDSM scene, as well as their personal journey with gender and sexuality. No holds barred, so do prepare yourself for some very intimate sex scenes, as well as depictions and recollections of abuse.

I know very little about the fetish scene, and while Transland is by no means attempting to be a ‘how to’ or welcome guide, it is an extremely eye-opening and insightful exploration of the scene. Newbies to the scene could no doubt learn a lot from Mx. Sly’s experiences. Some of their experiences could be triggering, so do tread carefully, especially with the passages about Broadsword and his violations of Sly’s consent. The aftermath of that and the kink community’s reaction to it was so frustrating. 

Mx. Sly is also incredibly open about the difficulties of navigating the kink scene as a non-binary person, coming up against gendered expectations, having their gender identity invalidated and validated depending on the circumstances. There was a tiny line when Sly is discussing labels for sexuality and gender identity that absolutely stopped me in my tracks: ‘Words cannot contain our souls’. Good lord that’s so beautiful. 

I’m always a little bit disappointed when authors don’t narrate their own work, but Sebastian Marziali does do a lovely job of the narration. A fantastic read that I discovered thanks to the Lambda Literary Award’s 2024 shortlists!
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