A review by mariakureads
I'm Afraid of Men by Vivek Shraya

emotional fast-paced

2.0

As personal as this was, Shraya is not telling me something that I, like many women already are aware of, especially as a woman of color.  We are hyper vigilant even at rest. Women in general walk and talk with caution, and women of color have to, in addition, school their faces, change their appearance and manner of speaking to assimilate gender norms.

Shraya's viewpoint is heightened because of their transition and she's aware of it and at different points of the book, allows that fear to hold her captive and what feels like compounds her already negative experiences with variations of toxic masculinity, homophobia, and racism. 

I respect the author for writing this, I do, but there are certain moments that I had issues with, such as Shraya's rememberence of choosing Manpreet to force a first kiss upon because as she put it she senses that Manpreet liked her and she was younger this making her a perfect target.... This view point bothered me so much. It's a thought, not from genuine interest, or even true curiousity, but because at this moment Shraya is male, and from a male view is looking at Manpreet and an assumption of entitlement to take. That Shraya mentions this, is accounting to some guilt on her part but there's no apology or reflection and nothing else comes from this moment or others like it through the book.

I feel like there is a lot missing information at different points that could have helped explain and add reflection to different moments of the book that I found I had a problem with, because there's moments where it feels that Shraya is misogynistic and views not just me but women with the viewpoint as well.
Expand filter menu Content Warnings