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A review by stopthesun
Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith
4.0
[b:Stay Gold|45306326|Stay Gold|Tobly McSmith|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1570196048l/45306326._SY75_.jpg|70033346] is a tough book. It tells the story of Pony and Georgia as they struggle to share who they are with others. They each have a secret: Pony that he's transgender and Georgia that she likes to write (cheerleaders are apparently not allowed to have other hobbies?).
Warnings for
Things I Liked:
The Banter: Pony and Georgia usually had some cute banter going and it made their positive moments really fun.
The Representation: This book puts a lot into sharing the experience of being transgender. Pony's experiences aren't just thought about or explained to other characters, they're shown in events ranging from bathroom confrontations to making friends to being misgendered by strangers.
The Acceptance Struggle: I don't mean to say I liked that acceptance was a struggle, just that it felt realistic. As an underrepresented aspect of humanity, I think it's good that McSmith gives us an (unfortunately) all too real look at how loved ones can struggle to accept us.
Pony's Dad, specifically, is ruthlessly and intentionally transphobic throughout the book. We're assured by Pony's Mom that Dad just loves Pony, but it really doesn't seem that way.
Things I Really Didn't Like:
Their Friends: They each had a friend that generally sucked? And I can't even say their friends had good intentions because their intentions were never about Georiga or Pony.
Georiga's friend Mia was horrible. She put everyone down constantly and had all these cheerleader rules that basically amounted to her making everyone do what she wanted. And she makes some pretty heinous comments and declarations that are ultimately brushed under the rug because that's just "how she is."
Pony's friend Max pissed me off the most. It seemed like he existed just to be pushy and insensitive about Pony's situation and feelings. At one point Max even. And that leads me to the thing that I disliked the most:
The Message(?): I think the message was supposed to be something like, "Be true to yourself and follow your heart" but instead came out more like, "Be honest about who you are or else."
You must, at all times and for everyone, be exactly who you are regardless of your wants, needs, or situation.
And this applies to both Georgia and Pony. The difference between the two is that Georiga didn't want to date Pony or admit that she likes writing because she was worried about her image. And those are average, dumb teen things that everyone eventually learns are not bad things and are fine.
But Pony. Pony wants to be seen as and treated like a regular guy. He shouldn't have to be out if he doesn't want to be. Especially since being out as transgender in southern small-town America can be extremely dangerous. But his two biggest supporters both repeatedly tell him that he should be out at school; one of them even stops talking to him for a while.
It's admittedly only a real issue when Max is around. But still. I don't know. It didn't sit right with me.
But clearly, I still liked the book. I liked seeing Georgia and Pony's individual development and their relationship. And the issue with the message is kind of dealt with at the end.
I have everything I wanted but nothing I want. What else have I lost because I've been worried about what people think of me?
Warnings for
Spoiler
Violence, Bullying, Assault & Hate Crimes, Transphobia, Homophobia, Slurs, Gender Dysphoria, Forced Outing, Dead Naming, Mis-Pronouning, Suicidal IdeationThings I Liked:
The Banter: Pony and Georgia usually had some cute banter going and it made their positive moments really fun.
The Representation: This book puts a lot into sharing the experience of being transgender. Pony's experiences aren't just thought about or explained to other characters, they're shown in events ranging from bathroom confrontations
Spoiler
(both benign and horrifically violent)The Acceptance Struggle: I don't mean to say I liked that acceptance was a struggle, just that it felt realistic. As an underrepresented aspect of humanity, I think it's good that McSmith gives us an (unfortunately) all too real look at how loved ones can struggle to accept us.
Pony's Dad, specifically, is ruthlessly and intentionally transphobic throughout the book. We're assured by Pony's Mom that Dad just loves Pony, but it really doesn't seem that way.
Spoiler
Later, we get to see him change a little, and it's revealed that he thought he was doing the right thing. And like, as horrible as that is, there really are people out there who think the way he does.Spoiler
Georiga also struggles to accept Pony. Even though she only ever thinks of Pony as a guy, Georgia shows us another version of a loved one not being accepting. She's too worried about what people will think if they find out they're dating, so she just wants to be friends. She asks some incentive questions and repeatedly tries to uncover his deadname. But it's hard to hate her because she's misguided and does try to do better.Things I Really Didn't Like:
Their Friends: They each had a friend that generally sucked? And I can't even say their friends had good intentions because their intentions were never about Georiga or Pony.
Georiga's friend Mia was horrible. She put everyone down constantly and had all these cheerleader rules that basically amounted to her making everyone do what she wanted. And she makes some pretty heinous comments and declarations that are ultimately brushed under the rug because that's just "how she is."
Pony's friend Max pissed me off the most. It seemed like he existed just to be pushy and insensitive about Pony's situation and feelings. At one point Max even
Spoiler
ghosts Pony because he doesn't want to post a fundraiser link for fear it might out him at schoolThe Message(?): I think the message was supposed to be something like, "Be true to yourself and follow your heart" but instead came out more like, "Be honest about who you are or else."
You must, at all times and for everyone, be exactly who you are regardless of your wants, needs, or situation.
And this applies to both Georgia and Pony. The difference between the two is that Georiga didn't want to date Pony or admit that she likes writing because she was worried about her image. And those are average, dumb teen things that everyone eventually learns are not bad things and are fine.
But Pony. Pony wants to be seen as and treated like a regular guy. He shouldn't have to be out if he doesn't want to be. Especially since being out as transgender in southern small-town America can be extremely dangerous. But his two biggest supporters both repeatedly tell him that he should be out at school; one of them even stops talking to him for a while.
Spoiler
And then two guys beat the hell out of Pony! and he's in the hospital and contemplating suicide! and can't wear a binder anymore! and Max goes "oops"! and then they're still friends!It's admittedly only a real issue when Max is around. But still. I don't know. It didn't sit right with me.
But clearly, I still liked the book. I liked seeing Georgia and Pony's individual development and their relationship. And the issue with the message is kind of dealt with at the end.