A review by kinneiksu
The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps by Melissa Orlov

4.0

This book was a really unexpected gem - it helped me clarify a lot of things I was struggling to understand, and Melissa Orlov gave me an ENORMOUS sense of relief over being seen and understood as the non-ADHD partner. Extra points as Orlov continuously references one of my favourite self help books of all time - The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner!


My only caveat is that this book is very heteronormative in nature. It's primarily written for cis-het relationships where the ADHD partner is male and the non-ADHD partner is female, with both in more traditional gender roles. If you don't fit into this category, I would recommend reading a different piece of literature on ADHD as you may find the examples in the book very hard to relate to.


Additionally, it's difficult to address this specific type of relationship without also taking onto account gender issues and deeply ingrained ways of unhealthy male-female relating. Because of this I would recommend reading The ADHD Effect in combination with other books, particularly All The Rage by Darcy Lockman and of course The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner.