jukietoss 's review for:

Things in Nature Merely Grow by Yiyun Li

5.0

emotional reflective medium-paced

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What a stunning memoir by Yiyun Li, written for her son, James. As she shared James with us throughout the book, she acknowledged the limitations in language to write to and for him--particularly different than she experienced in writing a novel six years prior for her elder deceased son. And yet even with language's imperfection, she painted a picture of James so generously that I do feel I know some part of him now, and I'm so grateful. 

LI has endured--and continues to live with--unimaginable loss with the deaths of her two sons by suicide, six years and four months apart. And yet she has captured on the page the thinking she is employing to continue on in the abyss. I am so moved by how she is thinking herself through it--of her own explanation, not feeling her way through, but thinking. It's such a beautiful homage to James. 

Part of what is striking about Li's memoir is her frequent and varied allusions to various other works, be they Shakespeare, Chopin, geometry, or Mariane Robinson. It's such a reminder that anything we may experience--any thought or feeling we have has--has been thought/felt/experienced before. There's solace in looking back and being seen by artists and thinkers from centuries past. 

I was also struck by the friendships that Li has had around her through the losses of her children. To be known and seen the way her friends have held her is so consequential. It's also a testament to Li's authenticity that she has a set of people around her who show up in ways that are meaningful to her. May we all be brave enough and self-aware enough to cultivate relationships like these. 

I'm so grateful to Li for this stunning work. It's a gift, and I have no doubt I'll revisit it throughout my life as a meaningful meditation on enduring loss.