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A review by hopeggx
The Courtship of Princess Leia by Dave Wolverton
3.0
I need ten minutes to discuss Han Solo on a mic. I need to. I have this deep anger in me. This book should be called "Han Solo fucks up everyone's day and takes no accountability for his actions." He literally kidnaps Leia and she's supposed to marry this man? What the hell.
Pretty sure Dave Wolverton went through a break up in the middle of this book. There are about 3-4 chapters in the middle where he's constantly talking about breasts. Women undressing. Women showing off their boobs. Teneniel gets a Force lightning bolt to the boob, and Luke has to touch her boob to heal her. Did your girlfriend leave you, Dave? Do you miss her boobies?
When Luke is being his dumb Ace Himbo self, he's wonderful. The moment he becomes Mr. 'Omniscient I have every power because I'm a God now self and I will talk down to everyone about the Force because only my way mattered with my whole 3 days of training with Yoda,' I want to throw him into the garbage.
Teneniel is both my favorite character and the biggest issue with the book. I adore her as she is and her romance with Isolder and crush on Luke are super cute. I hate how she is used as a narrative function as the reason why Han does not have to ever take accountability for his actions and that's gross. Her role in the plot is the break up Leia and Isolder. Han just bides his time until Leia is free again. Only apologizes when innocent people are dying not the *check notes* kidnapping Leia against her will, shoving her into the floor of the Falcon, and putting millions of lives at risk because he got butt hurt at the pretty man.
Also, Leia cries a lot and gets sidelines constantly on grounds that she's a lady. Carrie Fisher would decimate you, Dave.
Love the Nightsisters and Singing Mountain Clan stuff minus the gross colonizing language used towards them. Blow that colonizing dogwhistle louder, Dave.
The last quarter of the book is awesome. The multisided final battle with all the characters is really great. This book has several strong points. But boy the warts are big and gross when this book struggles. I wasn't a big Han Solo fan coming into the book. This made me officially hate the man. If that's what you were going for, good job, Dave.
Pretty sure Dave Wolverton went through a break up in the middle of this book. There are about 3-4 chapters in the middle where he's constantly talking about breasts. Women undressing. Women showing off their boobs. Teneniel gets a Force lightning bolt to the boob, and Luke has to touch her boob to heal her. Did your girlfriend leave you, Dave? Do you miss her boobies?
When Luke is being his dumb Ace Himbo self, he's wonderful. The moment he becomes Mr. 'Omniscient I have every power because I'm a God now self and I will talk down to everyone about the Force because only my way mattered with my whole 3 days of training with Yoda,' I want to throw him into the garbage.
Teneniel is both my favorite character and the biggest issue with the book. I adore her as she is and her romance with Isolder and crush on Luke are super cute. I hate how she is used as a narrative function as the reason why Han does not have to ever take accountability for his actions and that's gross. Her role in the plot is the break up Leia and Isolder. Han just bides his time until Leia is free again. Only apologizes when innocent people are dying not the *check notes* kidnapping Leia against her will, shoving her into the floor of the Falcon, and putting millions of lives at risk because he got butt hurt at the pretty man.
Also, Leia cries a lot and gets sidelines constantly on grounds that she's a lady. Carrie Fisher would decimate you, Dave.
Love the Nightsisters and Singing Mountain Clan stuff minus the gross colonizing language used towards them. Blow that colonizing dogwhistle louder, Dave.
The last quarter of the book is awesome. The multisided final battle with all the characters is really great. This book has several strong points. But boy the warts are big and gross when this book struggles. I wasn't a big Han Solo fan coming into the book. This made me officially hate the man. If that's what you were going for, good job, Dave.