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A review by bie
Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender
4.0
Some people say we shouldn’t need labels. That we’re trying to box ourselves in too much. But I don’t know. It feels good to me, to know I’m not alone. That someone else has felt the same way I’ve felt, experienced the same things I’ve experienced. It’s validating.
i–
i don't even know what to say
do you ever read a book so good that when you're done you read the author's note, the acknowledgements, the page about the author, and even the copyright page? just because you don't want it to be over? because you don't want to let go? yeah.
i've been screaming about this in my friend's dms and one of the things we've both been saying is how it answered questions we didn't even know we had. i've been questioning a bunch of things for so long and by questioning them, i sometimes ended up feeling like a fraud. like i'm never enough of this, or enough of that; that someone will grab my hand one day and tell me, “hey, you're not part of this community, get your shit together. or even better, get out.” it felt so, so good seeing this sort of representation on paper, someone who's still figuring all out. there are so many quotes i want to put here, i have a huge amount of this book highlighted in bright yellow, but i don't even know which one will do it justice.
“These younger generations,” Tom echoes. “I envy them. There’s so much more space to explore who they are now. To explore and celebrate themselves. I could never have imagined seeing a transgender man on TV or in the movies when I was younger. And now?” He looks at me. “I look at you and wish I could be a teenager again. I know that things aren’t perfect,” he says, nodding, “and there are still hardships, but don’t forget to enjoy these years. Live. Live them for the people who didn’t get to enjoy being a teenager. For the people who never lived past being a teenager.”
it took me 2 or 3 chapters to really stop scrunching my nose and roll my eyes and at that point i thought i will not like it (a thought that terrified me cause i knew all my friends who read it Loved it) but when i finally got into it, i was truly in. the amount of times i told myself while reading “oh, i thought about that” or “i Said that” or “i felt that”... similar to how i felt about legendborn, this was another book i've been waiting for (for different reasons, of course) so i'm so extremely grateful to have read it. i keep wondering how different things would've been if i had it a few years ago... a few months ago... fuck, even a few weeks ago when i was spiralling about gender and sexuality and everything. well, better late than never, as they say.
too much rambling. just read it, you'll love it.
source: trust me, dude.
---
trigger warnings: alcohol (underage drinking), bullying, catfishing, cyberbullying, deadnaming, disownment, homophobia, injections, misgendering, outing, parental abuse/neglect (talked about, not shown), racism, surgery & scars (mentioned), transphobia, weed.
i–
i don't even know what to say
do you ever read a book so good that when you're done you read the author's note, the acknowledgements, the page about the author, and even the copyright page? just because you don't want it to be over? because you don't want to let go? yeah.
i've been screaming about this in my friend's dms and one of the things we've both been saying is how it answered questions we didn't even know we had. i've been questioning a bunch of things for so long and by questioning them, i sometimes ended up feeling like a fraud. like i'm never enough of this, or enough of that; that someone will grab my hand one day and tell me, “hey, you're not part of this community, get your shit together. or even better, get out.” it felt so, so good seeing this sort of representation on paper, someone who's still figuring all out. there are so many quotes i want to put here, i have a huge amount of this book highlighted in bright yellow, but i don't even know which one will do it justice.
“These younger generations,” Tom echoes. “I envy them. There’s so much more space to explore who they are now. To explore and celebrate themselves. I could never have imagined seeing a transgender man on TV or in the movies when I was younger. And now?” He looks at me. “I look at you and wish I could be a teenager again. I know that things aren’t perfect,” he says, nodding, “and there are still hardships, but don’t forget to enjoy these years. Live. Live them for the people who didn’t get to enjoy being a teenager. For the people who never lived past being a teenager.”
it took me 2 or 3 chapters to really stop scrunching my nose and roll my eyes and at that point i thought i will not like it (a thought that terrified me cause i knew all my friends who read it Loved it) but when i finally got into it, i was truly in. the amount of times i told myself while reading “oh, i thought about that” or “i Said that” or “i felt that”... similar to how i felt about legendborn, this was another book i've been waiting for (for different reasons, of course) so i'm so extremely grateful to have read it. i keep wondering how different things would've been if i had it a few years ago... a few months ago... fuck, even a few weeks ago when i was spiralling about gender and sexuality and everything. well, better late than never, as they say.
too much rambling. just read it, you'll love it.
source: trust me, dude.
---
trigger warnings: alcohol (underage drinking), bullying, catfishing, cyberbullying, deadnaming, disownment, homophobia, injections, misgendering, outing, parental abuse/neglect (talked about, not shown), racism, surgery & scars (mentioned), transphobia, weed.