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A review by jordanrisa
The Second Shift by Arlie Russell Hochschild
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.75
Life changing and very validating. A must read for anyone in a relationship, anyone living with a partner, anyone married or about to be. As someone who has struggled with external opinions (namely, my parents) about my “role” in my relationship, this book confirmed so much of what I suspected in gender roles and expectations within a family unit. I’ve gifted it to three friends already and plan to share it with more.
It was first published in 1989, but still so relevant today. It talks about how not enough has changed as women have entered the workforce yet still are expected to take on the “second shift” of the majority of housework and childcare. While women have advanced so far in society in the past few decades, men and workplaces have remained largely unchained and have a lot of progress left to make. It’s a necessary read for both men and women.
I have so many dog ears and highlights in this book and plan to revisit.
“Many women struggle to avoid, suppress, obscure, or justify a frightening conflict over the second shift… they are forced to choose between equality and marriage. And they choose marriage.” (60)
“The belief that their husbands shared 50% of the work at home was fairly common among successful upper middle class professional women in the late 80s, women who carried most of the burden of the second shift.” (106)
“When girls grow up, they seek to recapitulate… by becoming mothers themselves. When boys grow up, they try to recapitulate… by finding a woman ‘like mother.’” (163)
“Supermoming was a way of absorbing into oneself the conflicting demands of home and work. To prepare themselves emotionally, many supermoms develop a conception of themselves as ‘on the go, organized, competent,’ as women without need for rest, without personal needs. Both as a preparation for this strategy and as a consequence of it, supermoms tended to seem out of touch with their feelings.” (204)
“It was a privilege to have a wife tend the home. If a man shared the second shift, that privilege was lost.” (209)
“The female culture has shifted more rapidly than the male culture; the image of the go get ‘em woman has yet to be fully matched by the image of the lets take care of the kids together man.” (214)
“What did contribute to happiness was the husbands willingness to do the work at home. Sharing the second shift improved a marriage regardless of what ideas either had about mens and womens roles.” (221)
“127 countries — including virtually every industrial nation — mandate some sort of paid family leave. But in the US, the richest nation in the world, working parents are not guaranteed a penny of paid leave to stay at home with a newborn baby.” (280)
It was first published in 1989, but still so relevant today. It talks about how not enough has changed as women have entered the workforce yet still are expected to take on the “second shift” of the majority of housework and childcare. While women have advanced so far in society in the past few decades, men and workplaces have remained largely unchained and have a lot of progress left to make. It’s a necessary read for both men and women.
I have so many dog ears and highlights in this book and plan to revisit.
“Many women struggle to avoid, suppress, obscure, or justify a frightening conflict over the second shift… they are forced to choose between equality and marriage. And they choose marriage.” (60)
“The belief that their husbands shared 50% of the work at home was fairly common among successful upper middle class professional women in the late 80s, women who carried most of the burden of the second shift.” (106)
“When girls grow up, they seek to recapitulate… by becoming mothers themselves. When boys grow up, they try to recapitulate… by finding a woman ‘like mother.’” (163)
“Supermoming was a way of absorbing into oneself the conflicting demands of home and work. To prepare themselves emotionally, many supermoms develop a conception of themselves as ‘on the go, organized, competent,’ as women without need for rest, without personal needs. Both as a preparation for this strategy and as a consequence of it, supermoms tended to seem out of touch with their feelings.” (204)
“It was a privilege to have a wife tend the home. If a man shared the second shift, that privilege was lost.” (209)
“The female culture has shifted more rapidly than the male culture; the image of the go get ‘em woman has yet to be fully matched by the image of the lets take care of the kids together man.” (214)
“What did contribute to happiness was the husbands willingness to do the work at home. Sharing the second shift improved a marriage regardless of what ideas either had about mens and womens roles.” (221)
“127 countries — including virtually every industrial nation — mandate some sort of paid family leave. But in the US, the richest nation in the world, working parents are not guaranteed a penny of paid leave to stay at home with a newborn baby.” (280)