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katemackin 's review for:
Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough
by Lori Gottlieb
I actually had a lot of important takeaways from this book and I was really receptive to the general message of unpacking your expectations of a romantic partner and being realistic rather than rigid. I also love the idea that immediate chemistry does not predict long term relationship happiness and not to discount friendship or a “slow burn.”
All that said, the messages were wrapped up in problematic packaging. Honestly I am not super offended by the evolutionary reality that women and men peak in reproductive value at different times and for different durations, and that inevitably affects dating behavior and ultimately choices. That said- I think it was sort of beating a dead horse at some point and all roads seemed to lead back to this dead end in a way that started to feel offensive. Super heteronormative in a way that I felt was not helpful and sometimes sloppy. I feel like her most poignant messages were targeted at cisgender straight women and she never really spoke in a meaningful way to how these lessons would apply in for anyone who didn’t identify this way. It’s unfortunate because I honestly found the book personally helpful but I’m also a cisgender straight white woman of a certain SES so these messages can only reach a limited target audience.
All that said, the messages were wrapped up in problematic packaging. Honestly I am not super offended by the evolutionary reality that women and men peak in reproductive value at different times and for different durations, and that inevitably affects dating behavior and ultimately choices. That said- I think it was sort of beating a dead horse at some point and all roads seemed to lead back to this dead end in a way that started to feel offensive. Super heteronormative in a way that I felt was not helpful and sometimes sloppy. I feel like her most poignant messages were targeted at cisgender straight women and she never really spoke in a meaningful way to how these lessons would apply in for anyone who didn’t identify this way. It’s unfortunate because I honestly found the book personally helpful but I’m also a cisgender straight white woman of a certain SES so these messages can only reach a limited target audience.