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maridelea 's review for:
Bad Romance
by Heather Demetrios
This is a hard book to rate and review, because while I liked it a lot, at the same time I didn't. If this makes no sense to you, what I mean is this: it's a very, very well-written book, with extremely realistic characters and a story that was completely immersive--I couldn't stop reading it, because I cared, deeply, about what would happen to Grace and was so invested in her; I wanted to be able to tell her she deserved better, that she shouldn't let Gavin or her family or anyone else treat her the way they did. Demetrios knows how to write, and I'll definitely be checking out more of her books in the future because she has a very unique voice.
But conversely, the fact that I was so invested in Grace is also what made me dislike the book--because it was painful, really painful, how much I could relate to her, and it made me confront things about myself that I usually try not to. Thankfully I've never been in an abusive relationship like Gavin and Grace's, but I can very easily see how I COULD have, if things had turned out slightly differently. Because I know really well what it's like to have your self-worth constantly degraded to the point where you start believing everything other people say about you--that you're worthless, stupid, bad, can't do anything right, someone who only deserves broken things. And when you're in that state of mind, and someone comes along who doesn't treat you like you're something inferior or messed up, it's almost empowering; finally, you have someone who understands and loves and accepts you for who are, and it's almost like a drug, the kind of happiness and sense of relief that gives you.
And that person who makes you feel good about yourself has a lot of power over you, whether they realize it or not.
In my case I got lucky, because the people who helped me find my own self-worth were people who legitimately loved and accepted me for who I am, unconditionally, and also helped me to realize that even if other people say I'm broken or a burden, it's not necessarily true and I shouldn't define myself based on what other people tell me. But had I run into the wrong person at the right time--who knows how things might've turned out? And that's scary, really; it's scary to admit something like that could happen to you, it's scary to admit that you were ever in such a dark and vulnerable place. Especially if you're someone like me, who likes to push the bad things to the farthest recesses of my mind because as long as they're there I don't have to deal with them, and I definitely don't have to admit that I'm not always the strongest person. (denial is my survival mechanism!!!)
So yeah, I don't know how to review this book, but I'd recommend it to anyone who is in a strong enough place to read it.
But conversely, the fact that I was so invested in Grace is also what made me dislike the book--because it was painful, really painful, how much I could relate to her, and it made me confront things about myself that I usually try not to. Thankfully I've never been in an abusive relationship like Gavin and Grace's, but I can very easily see how I COULD have, if things had turned out slightly differently. Because I know really well what it's like to have your self-worth constantly degraded to the point where you start believing everything other people say about you--that you're worthless, stupid, bad, can't do anything right, someone who only deserves broken things. And when you're in that state of mind, and someone comes along who doesn't treat you like you're something inferior or messed up, it's almost empowering; finally, you have someone who understands and loves and accepts you for who are, and it's almost like a drug, the kind of happiness and sense of relief that gives you.
And that person who makes you feel good about yourself has a lot of power over you, whether they realize it or not.
In my case I got lucky, because the people who helped me find my own self-worth were people who legitimately loved and accepted me for who I am, unconditionally, and also helped me to realize that even if other people say I'm broken or a burden, it's not necessarily true and I shouldn't define myself based on what other people tell me. But had I run into the wrong person at the right time--who knows how things might've turned out? And that's scary, really; it's scary to admit something like that could happen to you, it's scary to admit that you were ever in such a dark and vulnerable place. Especially if you're someone like me, who likes to push the bad things to the farthest recesses of my mind because as long as they're there I don't have to deal with them, and I definitely don't have to admit that I'm not always the strongest person. (denial is my survival mechanism!!!)
So yeah, I don't know how to review this book, but I'd recommend it to anyone who is in a strong enough place to read it.