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A review by n_asyikin_
Notes of a Crocodile by Qiu Miaojin
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
A book which explored the dark side in finding your self. Raw about one's possibility for destructiveness, it followed a cast of characters trying to navigate an unforgiving world told through the eye of a lesbian narrator. She (the narrator) was brutal in her honesty, as was she & some of her acquaintances, in their approaches to life.
It heavily depicted internalized homophobia, with the narrator constantly at war with her sexuality, desparate for a need to "absolve" her romantic feelings towards Shui Ling, & the toxicity of some of the relationships she formed. Description on behaviours was also gendered at times, reflecting (perhaps) the norm of the time. If any, the self-destructive could be considered a consequence of deeply held homophobia.
As the title indicated, I read the book in the form of a diary. The narrator's confusion & vulnerabilities, discoveries & wisdoms unspooled in beautiful proses.
At times, I thought the subject was a bit unclear, making it somewhat difficult for me to comprehend who the writer was talking about or/and to. There were also some instances whereby the narrator seemed to jump from one topic to another in between chapters, hence, disrupting the flow a bit. But I think it was apt if you considered it was structured as if these were the collated thoughts of a young woman spanning a few years.
Touching upon the darkness that loomed not only from the growing pains, but possibly exacerbated by clinical conditions (i.e., mental illnesses), "Notes of a Crocodile" is a raw read on learning about who you are & how you love in the context of both oneself & with others.
It heavily depicted internalized homophobia, with the narrator constantly at war with her sexuality, desparate for a need to "absolve" her romantic feelings towards Shui Ling, & the toxicity of some of the relationships she formed. Description on behaviours was also gendered at times, reflecting (perhaps) the norm of the time. If any, the self-destructive could be considered a consequence of deeply held homophobia.
As the title indicated, I read the book in the form of a diary. The narrator's confusion & vulnerabilities, discoveries & wisdoms unspooled in beautiful proses.
At times, I thought the subject was a bit unclear, making it somewhat difficult for me to comprehend who the writer was talking about or/and to. There were also some instances whereby the narrator seemed to jump from one topic to another in between chapters, hence, disrupting the flow a bit. But I think it was apt if you considered it was structured as if these were the collated thoughts of a young woman spanning a few years.
Touching upon the darkness that loomed not only from the growing pains, but possibly exacerbated by clinical conditions (i.e., mental illnesses), "Notes of a Crocodile" is a raw read on learning about who you are & how you love in the context of both oneself & with others.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Domestic abuse, Homophobia, Rape, Self harm, and Violence