Scan barcode
A review by sebs_gaybooks
In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado
dark
informative
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
5.0
bawling. my. eyes. out
reread 2023
This book. It truly pulls me apart every single time. This is the first reread since I picked it up in 2021, and man did it just strengthen my admiration for Machado and her writing. Told through chapters of varying lengths, using literary tropes, themes, techniques and types to explore the horrors of an abusive relationship. I found myself mentioning texts, references, lines from this book in my life, bringing it up in discussions because I could not get it out of my head. Bringing to the forefront the fight for queer lives to be placed in the same humanistic lens as hetero relationships, so people can come out and speak about abuse at the hands or minds of their queer lovers.
A feel like a personal thanks is required, from me to Machado, because as I read this and reflected on my queer relationships (platonic or romantic), I began to realise the sort of conditioning I'd be forced into by the queer community. The idea that the only people capable of abuse (in any form) was men. That women couldn't possibly be able to hurt one another. There's a lot of nuance to this discussion that Machado so expertly lays out, placing it delicately at my feet and asking me to examine it, closely. And with compassion, she pushes these thoughts into the readers hearts to examine in themselves what we believe about queer relationships. Because the very people who raged against the man and their power, were the people who hurt me, emotionally manipulated me, hurt me in ways they swore couldn't be true. Because what? We're queer? We're human, queer humans, capable of hurting.
I'm so glad this memoir exists; Machado will forever be a safe space for me to come back to when I feel like my experiences aren't valid. I can take her words and wrap them around me, because if anything, she understands. And I will be forever grateful for that.
reread 2023
This book. It truly pulls me apart every single time. This is the first reread since I picked it up in 2021, and man did it just strengthen my admiration for Machado and her writing. Told through chapters of varying lengths, using literary tropes, themes, techniques and types to explore the horrors of an abusive relationship. I found myself mentioning texts, references, lines from this book in my life, bringing it up in discussions because I could not get it out of my head. Bringing to the forefront the fight for queer lives to be placed in the same humanistic lens as hetero relationships, so people can come out and speak about abuse at the hands or minds of their queer lovers.
A feel like a personal thanks is required, from me to Machado, because as I read this and reflected on my queer relationships (platonic or romantic), I began to realise the sort of conditioning I'd be forced into by the queer community. The idea that the only people capable of abuse (in any form) was men. That women couldn't possibly be able to hurt one another. There's a lot of nuance to this discussion that Machado so expertly lays out, placing it delicately at my feet and asking me to examine it, closely. And with compassion, she pushes these thoughts into the readers hearts to examine in themselves what we believe about queer relationships. Because the very people who raged against the man and their power, were the people who hurt me, emotionally manipulated me, hurt me in ways they swore couldn't be true. Because what? We're queer? We're human, queer humans, capable of hurting.
I'm so glad this memoir exists; Machado will forever be a safe space for me to come back to when I feel like my experiences aren't valid. I can take her words and wrap them around me, because if anything, she understands. And I will be forever grateful for that.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Lesbophobia, and Gaslighting