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A review by alykat_reads
The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives by William Stixrud, Ned Johnson
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
"Your job [as a parent] is to support and love your children."
This book was absolutely wonderful, and I recommend all parents to read it. I feel like I've already transitioned a bit to this style of parenting - not pushing my child to do sports if he doesn't want to, and trying to allow him to make choices. A lot of this will become more applicable as he gets older and we come across homework and extracurriculars through school, etc. But this really reinforces that teaching your child how to manage their responsibilities and make them accountable for themselves is what is so important - not that they were reading by age 4 or hitting other milestones earlier or quicker than their peers. I've always been a big fan of letting children develop on their own timelines and that their timelines don't have to match ours and that's okay. I've never had a job interview hinge on the age I learned to read, or what my standardized test scores were, or how many classes I could cram into my schedule. I think in this day and age there's come to be this pressure we put on kids to be the best as soon as they can be and we have such a high standard for them always. While I feel like wanting them to do their best is something all parents should want from their kids, I think we get lost in what that "best" actually is. Loving and supporting our kids in them being their own person is what should be the real focus, not a competition of who's kid did what first and trying to beat that. Now more than ever, our kids need a safe space they can be loved and supported, to be their true selves.
I'll definitely be getting a copy of this to have and will continually re-read as my son grows so that I can help nurture his path, wherever that may lead him.
This book was absolutely wonderful, and I recommend all parents to read it. I feel like I've already transitioned a bit to this style of parenting - not pushing my child to do sports if he doesn't want to, and trying to allow him to make choices. A lot of this will become more applicable as he gets older and we come across homework and extracurriculars through school, etc. But this really reinforces that teaching your child how to manage their responsibilities and make them accountable for themselves is what is so important - not that they were reading by age 4 or hitting other milestones earlier or quicker than their peers. I've always been a big fan of letting children develop on their own timelines and that their timelines don't have to match ours and that's okay. I've never had a job interview hinge on the age I learned to read, or what my standardized test scores were, or how many classes I could cram into my schedule. I think in this day and age there's come to be this pressure we put on kids to be the best as soon as they can be and we have such a high standard for them always. While I feel like wanting them to do their best is something all parents should want from their kids, I think we get lost in what that "best" actually is. Loving and supporting our kids in them being their own person is what should be the real focus, not a competition of who's kid did what first and trying to beat that. Now more than ever, our kids need a safe space they can be loved and supported, to be their true selves.
I'll definitely be getting a copy of this to have and will continually re-read as my son grows so that I can help nurture his path, wherever that may lead him.