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writerbeverly 's review for:
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
by Gary Chapman
I've been using the 5 Love Languages as a tool for a while, and decided to finally read the book.
There's a lot of good stuff here, and it is presented in a way that's easy to understand, with examples that illustrate the points. The idea is, we each have a "love tank," and if our partner(s) aren't filling up our tank, we're not going to feel loved. So if, for example, my love language was "Words of Affirmation," and my partner is continually bringing me flowers, little gifts, I'm going to feel love-starved. I would need them to be telling me how gorgeous I am, how smart, sending me a text just to say they were thinking about me and how soft my lips are. So, these things can be learned.
Things I didn't care for:
1) Writer is coming from a Christian perspective. It wasn't obtrusively so, except in one small section, so unless that's one of your triggers, you may still find it useful. If you ARE Christian, this may make you feel better about reading this.
2) Heteronormative. All the couples written about are male/female. Still could be helpful, unless that bugs you.
3) Author is anti-polyamory/open marriage. Only voiced in a small section, and despite being polyamorous, I've gotten a lot of good out of this concept, with all my partners, and I know lots of other polyam people who have, as well. Would that please, or horrify the author?
All in all, worth a read, and a think.
There's a lot of good stuff here, and it is presented in a way that's easy to understand, with examples that illustrate the points. The idea is, we each have a "love tank," and if our partner(s) aren't filling up our tank, we're not going to feel loved. So if, for example, my love language was "Words of Affirmation," and my partner is continually bringing me flowers, little gifts, I'm going to feel love-starved. I would need them to be telling me how gorgeous I am, how smart, sending me a text just to say they were thinking about me and how soft my lips are. So, these things can be learned.
Things I didn't care for:
1) Writer is coming from a Christian perspective. It wasn't obtrusively so, except in one small section, so unless that's one of your triggers, you may still find it useful. If you ARE Christian, this may make you feel better about reading this.
2) Heteronormative. All the couples written about are male/female. Still could be helpful, unless that bugs you.
3) Author is anti-polyamory/open marriage. Only voiced in a small section, and despite being polyamorous, I've gotten a lot of good out of this concept, with all my partners, and I know lots of other polyam people who have, as well. Would that please, or horrify the author?
All in all, worth a read, and a think.