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k4te 's review for:
In Control: Dangerous Relationships and How They End in Murder
by Jane Monckton-Smith
“It is not a private matter, and it is not simply a police matter; it is in all our interests to stop giving abusers excuses and justifications for controlling and self-centred patterns. ”
The best way to describe this book is that if domestic abuse and coercive control had never touched my life, this book would be able to educate me about these patterns.
Reading real life interviews of these families make these women more than statistics and the murderous men who kill them to be seen as controlling rather than the victims.
Being able to recognise these stages of the eight timeline is a key issue that should be learnt more to be able to keep women safe from a worryingly statistic of intimate homicide. And answers the question of ‘why didn’t she just leave’ , these people are under an insane amount of pressure to meet the perpetrators ego loyalty and control where leaving isn’t a safe option sometimes and the book explains and rejects why victim blaming isn’t acceptable. It can be an insight to these relationships and provides a responsibility to educate and recognise coercive control.
“The controlling patterns are not responses; they are systems to enforce and monitor control. Always there, always working.”
“To lose that control, or to have it usurped, can feel like humiliation, weakness and failure. I was fascinated to read that most displays of power, most fights over inconsequential and trivial things between men, most shows of anger, are for the benefit of other men, not women. There is a huge pressure to maintain stat”
The best way to describe this book is that if domestic abuse and coercive control had never touched my life, this book would be able to educate me about these patterns.
Reading real life interviews of these families make these women more than statistics and the murderous men who kill them to be seen as controlling rather than the victims.
Being able to recognise these stages of the eight timeline is a key issue that should be learnt more to be able to keep women safe from a worryingly statistic of intimate homicide. And answers the question of ‘why didn’t she just leave’ , these people are under an insane amount of pressure to meet the perpetrators ego loyalty and control where leaving isn’t a safe option sometimes and the book explains and rejects why victim blaming isn’t acceptable. It can be an insight to these relationships and provides a responsibility to educate and recognise coercive control.
“The controlling patterns are not responses; they are systems to enforce and monitor control. Always there, always working.”
“To lose that control, or to have it usurped, can feel like humiliation, weakness and failure. I was fascinated to read that most displays of power, most fights over inconsequential and trivial things between men, most shows of anger, are for the benefit of other men, not women. There is a huge pressure to maintain stat”