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rebecca_oneil 's review for:
Imagine Wanting Only This
by Kristen Radtke
2018 Read Harder Challenge: A comic that isn't published by Marvel, DC, or Image. Hmmmm. Very mixed feelings on this one.
While reading it, I identified strongly with Kristen's search for meaning and permanence, especially in one's early twenties, especially through the lens of art study. I learned some things I didn't know -- for instance, that Hitler designed his buildings for "ruin value," and that the Great Peshtigo Fire happened (it's amazing that this event isn't discussed more). I loved her depiction of insomnia on p. 241, and though her art lacked some kind of sizzle, I appreciated details like window reflections and phone format changes over time. Her writing was also incredibly poetic.
But I maintain a curmudgeonly feeling about art that's about how hard it is to do art, and graphic novel memoirs seem to be particularly guilty of this. "I have nothing to write about except how I have nothing to write about, BUT WAIT IT BECAME THIS BOOK, so nothing IS something, ha-HA!" is not a story, IMHO. And with Kristen, I felt like I was waiting for a transformation or revelation that never came. I wish she'd waited a few more years to write this, so she could offer some introspection: Did leaving her fiance teach her something about relationships? Did stealing and then losing a dead person's memorial (this part was awful) prompt her to do or learn anything at all? Did losing her uncle change her approach to her own health? Did traveling to ruins in other countries give her any perspective on her white American privilege? Did turning her experiences into art help in her search for meaning? Did she include sources for any of the research mentioned in the book? All of these answers seem to be "no." And while that may be ironically appropriate for an existential book (the point is, there is no point), I wanted more.
While reading it, I identified strongly with Kristen's search for meaning and permanence, especially in one's early twenties, especially through the lens of art study. I learned some things I didn't know -- for instance, that Hitler designed his buildings for "ruin value," and that the Great Peshtigo Fire happened (it's amazing that this event isn't discussed more). I loved her depiction of insomnia on p. 241, and though her art lacked some kind of sizzle, I appreciated details like window reflections and phone format changes over time. Her writing was also incredibly poetic.
But I maintain a curmudgeonly feeling about art that's about how hard it is to do art, and graphic novel memoirs seem to be particularly guilty of this. "I have nothing to write about except how I have nothing to write about, BUT WAIT IT BECAME THIS BOOK, so nothing IS something, ha-HA!" is not a story, IMHO. And with Kristen, I felt like I was waiting for a transformation or revelation that never came. I wish she'd waited a few more years to write this, so she could offer some introspection: Did leaving her fiance teach her something about relationships? Did stealing and then losing a dead person's memorial (this part was awful) prompt her to do or learn anything at all? Did losing her uncle change her approach to her own health? Did traveling to ruins in other countries give her any perspective on her white American privilege? Did turning her experiences into art help in her search for meaning? Did she include sources for any of the research mentioned in the book? All of these answers seem to be "no." And while that may be ironically appropriate for an existential book (the point is, there is no point), I wanted more.