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A review by hazel_oat
The Undertaker's Daughter: A Novel of Supernatural Horror by John James Minster
1.0
this is quite possibly the worst book i've read this year. huge TW for repeated violent sexual assault. [list item no. 5 is a spoiler, so be forewarned.]
1. good lord, the writing was AWFUL. please read the following introduction of timmy caperila, quoted below:
Timothy Caperila, who chose the stage name of ‘Timmy C.,’ had so far not experienced the luck he so dearly sought with the ladies— perhaps not the primary driver toward local rock stardom but definitely a factor high on the list. Still a virgin despite that, at six feet, he was the tallest member of the band. With thick, wavy brown hair that hung below his shoulders to frame a boyishly handsome face, he was by far the best looking, too.
Chicks only dig guys with muscles, he thought. These words often echoed in his head. He had convinced himself that girls in his class only seemed to want the brawny, loud guys. At one hundred fifty-nine pounds, brawn escaped him. No matter how much he ate, he never could seem to gain weight. Guess I’m a terminal ectomorph, dammit.
“How’s this, Boss Joda?” he said, backward stroking a D chord, then an A minor to G chord before he shredded a blues scale key of A. He delivered bending and ripping arpeggios and hammer-string pyrotechnics, all of which filled Mr. D’Alessio’s finished basement with more dark, ominous, gritty sound than it could hold.
“Yeah. Yes! I think that’s it! Okay, let me work something out on the keyboard. Tim, go have one of my dad’s beers. He won’t even know it’s missing.”
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? there is so much more but this was one of the first scenes that made me want to shut the book and i can't bring myself to reread my NUMEROUS highlights.
2. the book is clearly trying to convert anyone who reads it into either a jew or a christian. there are dozens of pages of theology that do not pertain to the story whatsoever - and on top of that, the dense textbook-like theory is not even explained in a way that a non-believer could understand.
3. multiple homophobic and anti-semetic slurs for no real reason? did not enhance any "horror" aspect - really just read like an angry league of legends player.
4. cool zionist commentary - NOT! see below quote:
We are going to solve the problem like Israel solves its Gaza problem.”
“And how’s that?”
“A good plan, executed immediately and violently.”
[spoiler ahead] 5. our MC is subject to repeated sexual assault and is completely unaffected by it. our MC is stalked and has her entire home destroyed and is completely unaffected by it. our MC witnesses necrophilia (in her own house) and is completely unaffected by it. our MC and her best friend are chained to their car and sexually assaulted, have the assault stopped by a rotting corpse who rapes and tortures the criminal, and are completely unaffected by it. AFTER ALL OF THIS, SHE FORGIVES THE GUY WHO HAS BEEN STALKING AND ASSAULTING HER.
in sum, this book fucking sucked and the only reason i finished it was because it was an ARC.
thank you to sunbury press for a free ARC in exchange for an honest review!
1. good lord, the writing was AWFUL. please read the following introduction of timmy caperila, quoted below:
Timothy Caperila, who chose the stage name of ‘Timmy C.,’ had so far not experienced the luck he so dearly sought with the ladies— perhaps not the primary driver toward local rock stardom but definitely a factor high on the list. Still a virgin despite that, at six feet, he was the tallest member of the band. With thick, wavy brown hair that hung below his shoulders to frame a boyishly handsome face, he was by far the best looking, too.
Chicks only dig guys with muscles, he thought. These words often echoed in his head. He had convinced himself that girls in his class only seemed to want the brawny, loud guys. At one hundred fifty-nine pounds, brawn escaped him. No matter how much he ate, he never could seem to gain weight. Guess I’m a terminal ectomorph, dammit.
“How’s this, Boss Joda?” he said, backward stroking a D chord, then an A minor to G chord before he shredded a blues scale key of A. He delivered bending and ripping arpeggios and hammer-string pyrotechnics, all of which filled Mr. D’Alessio’s finished basement with more dark, ominous, gritty sound than it could hold.
“Yeah. Yes! I think that’s it! Okay, let me work something out on the keyboard. Tim, go have one of my dad’s beers. He won’t even know it’s missing.”
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? there is so much more but this was one of the first scenes that made me want to shut the book and i can't bring myself to reread my NUMEROUS highlights.
2. the book is clearly trying to convert anyone who reads it into either a jew or a christian. there are dozens of pages of theology that do not pertain to the story whatsoever - and on top of that, the dense textbook-like theory is not even explained in a way that a non-believer could understand.
3. multiple homophobic and anti-semetic slurs for no real reason? did not enhance any "horror" aspect - really just read like an angry league of legends player.
4. cool zionist commentary - NOT! see below quote:
We are going to solve the problem like Israel solves its Gaza problem.”
“And how’s that?”
“A good plan, executed immediately and violently.”
[spoiler ahead] 5. our MC is subject to repeated sexual assault and is completely unaffected by it. our MC is stalked and has her entire home destroyed and is completely unaffected by it. our MC witnesses necrophilia (in her own house) and is completely unaffected by it. our MC and her best friend are chained to their car and sexually assaulted, have the assault stopped by a rotting corpse who rapes and tortures the criminal, and are completely unaffected by it. AFTER ALL OF THIS, SHE FORGIVES THE GUY WHO HAS BEEN STALKING AND ASSAULTING HER.
in sum, this book fucking sucked and the only reason i finished it was because it was an ARC.
thank you to sunbury press for a free ARC in exchange for an honest review!