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A review by screamdogreads
Spiritless But Actually Not by Kyle Mitchell
5.0
"I'm still going to school today because I don't know what else to do and the sorrow it's so deep inside me it reaches to infinity and when does it get so bad that I have to kill myself, I don't even know how it got to this point, how could it have possibly gotten to this point, how could anything be so horrible."
Review updated as of my 2nd read (15.4.24-17.4.24)
When it comes to life-changing, brain chemistry altering books, books that I spend all my free time obsessing over and seeking out, it's simply not enough for them to just be sad, or bleak or whatever. There has to be present a very specific kind of hopelessness - the kind that grows teeth and takes a bite from your soul. With Spiritless but Actually Not, that's exactly what you find. A book this affecting is a rarity, and perhaps, to fully appreciate a what a novel like this bestows upon the world, you have to have experienced that exact hopelessness within yourself.
A year later, and I still find myself thinking what even is this? Kyle Mitchell has created a thing that transcends genre and ignores all conventionality, he has brought to life a work of art in print form, an artifact that sends readers on a spiritual journey. Getting to experience Spiritless is a lot like experiencing an intense, ultra long acid trip and fever dream all at the same time, it's exhausting, it's draining and destructive yet so very gorgeous. 22 stories. 22 absolute head-fucks. 22 tales of perversion, desperation and nihilistic beauty.
Review updated as of my 2nd read (15.4.24-17.4.24)
When it comes to life-changing, brain chemistry altering books, books that I spend all my free time obsessing over and seeking out, it's simply not enough for them to just be sad, or bleak or whatever. There has to be present a very specific kind of hopelessness - the kind that grows teeth and takes a bite from your soul. With Spiritless but Actually Not, that's exactly what you find. A book this affecting is a rarity, and perhaps, to fully appreciate a what a novel like this bestows upon the world, you have to have experienced that exact hopelessness within yourself.
A year later, and I still find myself thinking what even is this? Kyle Mitchell has created a thing that transcends genre and ignores all conventionality, he has brought to life a work of art in print form, an artifact that sends readers on a spiritual journey. Getting to experience Spiritless is a lot like experiencing an intense, ultra long acid trip and fever dream all at the same time, it's exhausting, it's draining and destructive yet so very gorgeous. 22 stories. 22 absolute head-fucks. 22 tales of perversion, desperation and nihilistic beauty.
"I have nothing meaningful none of it means anything to me I would throw it all away to have you for a minute. I love you and I know that I will always love you and whatever happens before my death I will think of you when I die I will send you love. You will be the thing remembered. This I know. It's not a promise. Just a knowing."
This is absolutely not a book that you can just read. It's an experience, a thing felt. It's actually, something that most readers won't relate to - perhaps in a way, that's a good thing. This novel screams out to those who have been in a very specific position in life. For those of us who have been there, it rips through the fabric of our being. It's fucked up, depressing and ugly in the most wonderful way, it's horror in a way that's so very real, so raw and personal, as if vulnerability itself has been bled out all over the pages. None of these stories are particularly shocking, it's just that, for a singular rare moment the horror that is the modern world is laid bare with an infectious and sickening clarity.
Even on a second read, my favorite stories still remain the same - Morning Homework, Dying For You, I Wish I Was A Girl and Sushi Is Why I Incarnate - each of these tales still fills me with bittersweet nostalgia. How you feel about Spiritless but Actually Not is going to rely heavily on how you feel about chaotic acid trip nihilistic streams of consciousness. It's a masterpiece, and I can't thank Kyle Mitchell enough for allowing me to experience this monster of a book. Spiritless has rightfully cemented it's place amongst my favorite books of all time.
"In silent rooms years later when he's alone, his brain will interpret ambient noise as his father distantly shouting his name"