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lilyheron 's review for:
First, Become Ashes
by K.M. Szpara
This book is all about survivors and warped mindsets and the legacy of abuse and unreliable narrators. At the start of the story, Lark's partner Kane goes out into the outside world on his 'quest' to kill monsters, but then Kane and the FBI show up on Lark's doorstep and he and his whole family are arrested and the attempts at deprogramming them from an abusive cult begin.
Oh boy. Where to start? I think this book is going to be hugely important to me. First, if you're thinking of reading it, please take note of the content warnings and read safely. Nothing much is off the table here, and while not all of it is graphic, it does take place on-page and the themes run through the whole story, you don't really get a break from it. But I think that's what's important. Because Lark and Kane don't get a break either, they don't get to step away from how they were raised.
So, I liked the moments of silliness in this book. Lark wearing a Pikachu cosplay outfit, Calvin passing him off as Legolas at the convention to hide him from the police. I was concerned that Calvin really does enable Lark, when it's clear how damaged and in need of help he is. Part of me thinks, perhaps that's good, because Lark needed to work things out for himself. Part of me isn't sure I'm comfortable with that for a 'healthy' romantic partner. I do feel like some of the elements of this story are sensationalised and in some of the abusive SM scenes they really skirt the line of being made out to be gratifying for the reader, and I found that quite uncomfortable to read. Equally, I think this book is told from the perspectives of deeply damaged and traumatised individuals, who have endured lifetimes of abuse and brainwashing, so I'm not sure if it's fair to expect anything else.
I do wish there had been some broader closure with Nova. The 'binding ceremony' the characters take part in was very moving, but considering the story opens with the start of an attempt to bring her to justice through legal means, I wish it had ended with more of a sense of Lark and Kane giving their testimony or seeing her brought to justice. Same as the other Elders in the cult. This is one of the examples where the story seemed to focus on lighter issues than were set up to be thematically resonant. I can't really explain properly, but it was missing a little something for me as a reader. I would highly recommend it, with caution. (Also, I found it odd/jarring that a book like this, published so recently, was littered with references to HP.)
Oh boy. Where to start? I think this book is going to be hugely important to me. First, if you're thinking of reading it, please take note of the content warnings and read safely. Nothing much is off the table here, and while not all of it is graphic, it does take place on-page and the themes run through the whole story, you don't really get a break from it. But I think that's what's important. Because Lark and Kane don't get a break either, they don't get to step away from how they were raised.
So, I liked the moments of silliness in this book. Lark wearing a Pikachu cosplay outfit, Calvin passing him off as Legolas at the convention to hide him from the police. I was concerned that Calvin really does enable Lark, when it's clear how damaged and in need of help he is. Part of me thinks, perhaps that's good, because Lark needed to work things out for himself. Part of me isn't sure I'm comfortable with that for a 'healthy' romantic partner. I do feel like some of the elements of this story are sensationalised and in some of the abusive SM scenes they really skirt the line of being made out to be gratifying for the reader, and I found that quite uncomfortable to read. Equally, I think this book is told from the perspectives of deeply damaged and traumatised individuals, who have endured lifetimes of abuse and brainwashing, so I'm not sure if it's fair to expect anything else.
I do wish there had been some broader closure with Nova. The 'binding ceremony' the characters take part in was very moving, but considering the story opens with the start of an attempt to bring her to justice through legal means, I wish it had ended with more of a sense of Lark and Kane giving their testimony or seeing her brought to justice. Same as the other Elders in the cult. This is one of the examples where the story seemed to focus on lighter issues than were set up to be thematically resonant. I can't really explain properly, but it was missing a little something for me as a reader. I would highly recommend it, with caution. (Also, I found it odd/jarring that a book like this, published so recently, was littered with references to HP.)