bryn_thebookworm 's review for:

Will There Ever Be Another You by Patricia Lockwood

3.75

---

No One Is Talking About This blew my mind when I read it a few years ago, so I was fully prepared for another strange, impassioned journey with Patricia Lockwood's latest book—and that's exactly what I got.

In a story about chronic illness and loss, ideas spill forward in a colorful, offbeat stream of consciousness that's mostly exciting and profound but sometimes frustrating and confusing.

As someone who often backtracks while reading to understand the nuances of everything that's going on, I knew that wouldn't be a sound strategy with this particular book. The author's writing feels intentionally cryptic and poetic, leaving you to connect the dots for yourself.

When connecting the dots paid off:

•  Reading about her aftereffects from COVID while fighting off COVID myself helped me feel more connected to those parts of Lockwood's story. When she described her heart rate jumping to 150 BPM, difficulty standing for more than a few minutes, and breathlessness when raising her arms above her head, I couldn't help from assuming she shares a disorder I have called POTS.
•  It hit close to home when she expressed that writing about illness feels self-indulgent, that even having the illness in the first place feels self-indulgent.
•  I share the frustration that comes with having an uncooperative body while also thanking that same body for all the good it's done. Moments like this made my heart swell with appreciation.

When I failed to connect the dots:

•  A chapter about Anna Karenina didn't offer enough explanation to be meaningful to someone who hasn't read the story (that's me!).
•  There were times when Lockwood would suddenly take a sharp turn and describe a new scenario or idea without warning and my fragile comprehension would shatter.