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A review by libralita
The Sword of Summer by Rick Riordan
5.0
If you’re really unfamiliar with Norse Mythology, like me, I highly recommend trying to get your hands on a the Sword of Summer from target. It comes with a map of the 9 worlds and it’s really helpful to refer to.
Yay for the funny chapter titles making a come back!
“Yeah, I know. You guys are going to read about how I died in agony, and you’re going to be like, ‘Wow! That sounds cool, Magnus! Can I die in agony too?’
No. Just no.”—page 3
This is going to be a great book series.
“no-thank-you o’clock”
Of course Magnus watches Doctor Who.
“I thrust my hand toward the river. I imagined I was reaching for my mom, trying to pull her from the past—trying to save her from the wolves and the burning apartment.”—page 32
Aw, that’s really sad, poor Magnus.
“I knew a woman who’d adopted a grocery cart and named it Clarence.”—page 36
There’s a story I want to know about.
“I didn’t know who this fiery jack-hole was, but I knew a bully when I met one.”—page 37.
Jack-hole? You mean…
Magnus watched the Princess Bride 26 times?
“Weakly, I raised my free hand. I flipped him a gesture that he wouldn’t need to know sign language to understand.”—page 47
MAGNUS CHASE JUST FLIPPED OFF THIS FIRE GOD THING! MY GOD!
I like how more…aware Magnus is narrating this story. With the exception of the “Look I didn’t want to be half-blood” bit at the beginning, Percy never really spoke directly to the audience. Magnus does and it’s hilarious.
“‘You guys started working here the same year,’ I noted. ‘749…what is C.E?’
‘Common Era,’ said the manager. ‘What you might call A.D.’
‘Then why don’t you just say A.D.?’
‘Because Anno Domini, in the Year of Our Lord, is fine for Christians, but Thor gets a little upset. He still holds a grudge that Jesus never showed up for that duel he challenged him to.’”—page 57
WHAT?!
“For the record, Magnus means great. My mom named me that because our family was descended from Swedish kings or something a billion years ago. Also, she said I was the greatest thing that ever happened to her. I know. One, two three: Awwwwwww. It was an annoying named to have. People tended to spell it Mangus, rhymes with Angus. I always corrected them: No, it’s Magnus, rhymes with swag-ness. At which point they would stare at me blankly.”—page 63
That first part was sweet but that last part was painful.
MAGNUS IS SUCH A BOOK NERD I LOVE HIM!
X seems cute.
People here seem pretty chill about doomsday. I guess, you kind of have to be in this universe. Get a nosebleed and boom it’s the end of the world.
I KNEW THAT SAM WAS A DAUGHTER OF LOKI!
Why do these ancient prophecies have to be cryptic and in rhyme. Why can’t it be (to quote the Nostalgia Critic) “Go fucking here, to do fucking that, because fucking this”
Magnus got Frank Zhang-ed!
“‘Let’s take that hill!’ He pointed to a nearby ridge at the edge of the woods.
‘Why?’ I yelled.
‘Because it’s a hill!’
‘He loves taking hills,’ Mallory grumbled. ‘It’s a Civil War thing.’”—page 125
I adore TJ.
Plot twist: Bianca di Angelo is in this hotel.
Hearth is really cute.
Annabeth is just going through the Battle of the Labyrinth again. She thinks a loved one is dead and then he comes back!
“Water bubbled out of Mimir’s ears. ‘I’m pretty sure they didn’t say blah, blah, blah. However, you’re correct. The island where the gods imprisoned Ferris is only accessible on the first full moon of each year. That’s now seven days hence.’
‘Who makes up these rules?’ I asked.
‘I made up that rule,’ Mimir said. ‘So shut up.’”—page 195
That was pretty funny.
A talking pigeon turns into a talk bald eagle.
Y’know I’m sure there’s an easier way to get the attention of a sea goddess…maybe a certain boyfriend of a certain cousin of a certain son of Frey.
“‘At least Magnus found out where the sword is,’ Blitzen said. ‘Besides, Ran’s a goddess. She’ll be on our side, right?’”—page 214
Blitz, sweetie, you have a lot to learn about gods.
You don’t see many arranged marriages where, at least the girl is in love with the guy. He seems nice so I kinda want them to get together. Maybe Amir will die a hero and go to HV. Also that’s cool that she wants to be a pilot.
Aegir is a hipster.
“For the millionth time, I wanted to find my frolicking summer-god dad and smack him. Why had he given away his weapon in the first place? For love? Weren’t gods supposed to be smarter than that?”—page 238
Magnus, sweetie, you have a lot to learn about gods.
Huh, so we’re nearly half through the book and we’ve got the Sword of Summer…not a good sign.
“‘Could you do a glamour and turn into something smaller?’ I asked it. ‘Preferably not a chain, since it’s no longer the 1990s?’
The sword didn’t reply (duh), but I imagined it was bumming at a more interrogative pitch, like, Such as what?
‘I dunno. Something pocket-size and innocuous. A pen, maybe?’
The sword pulsed, almost like it was laughing. I imagined it saying, A pen sword. That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”—page 244
It’s funny because meta. Oh and a pen sword is stupid but a necklace sword is so bad ass.
Poor Hearth…his parents are ashamed that he’s deaf and likes magic.
Huh so Freya is Blitz’s mom. My god that scene between those two was great.
I was a little concerned I wouldn’t like Blitz and even Hearth but I really like them, they’re both really great characters.
Y’know sometimes in books you have this moment of sobriety, I got this when I started feeling sorry for the sword and Freya was like “you gotta friends with the sword”. Like what the fuck was I even reading? My god, if you guys start shipping the sword with other objects or characters, I swear…
“‘On Lyngvi—the Isle of Heather.’ The goddess tapped her chin. ‘Let’s see, today is Thor’s Day the sixteenth.’
‘You mean Thursday?’
‘That’s what I said. The island will rise on the full moon six days from now, on the twenty-second, which is Woden’s Day.’
‘Wednesday?’ I asked.”—page 280-281
I found that strangely funny “Thor’s Day” and “Woden’s Day”. After Thor’s Day is it Frey’s Day?
“I hate the word demigod. I prefer born with a target on my back.”—Blitz, page 286
Accurate.
“The most unreal thing about the bad was Taylor Swift’s ‘Blank Space’ blasting from the speakers.
‘Dwarves like human music?’ I asked Blitzen.
‘You mean humans like our music.’
‘But…’ I had a sudden image of Taylor Swift’s mom and Freya having a girls’ night out in Nidavellir. ‘Never mind.’”—page 288
Wait what?
Also…dwarves evolved from maggots…what the fuck?
THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT! Blitz should have been making armor. Fashionable armor.
There’s no stronger bond than a boy and his sword…wait.
“Junior huffed. ‘The point is, this rope is even better! I call it Andskoti, the Adversary. It was woven with the most powerful paradoxes in the Nine Worlds—WiFi with no lag, a politician’s sincerity, a printer than prints, healthy deep-friend food, and an interesting grammar lecture!’”—page 321-322
Haha.
“Damnable”?
THE SWORD CAN SPEAK?! AND HE NAMES HIMSELF JACK?! My god.
“‘Might make you pass out,’ the sword agreed. ‘On the bright side, it looks like you’re going to die anyway.’
He had a point. (Oh, sorry. That was bad.)”—page 330
Not as bad as “swag-ness”.
THE SHIP IS MADE UP OF FINGER AND TOE NAILS OF THE DEAD?! WHAT THE FUCK?!
“Everything the thunder god did, he did with gusto. He loved cooking his goats. He loved eating and drinking mead. He loved telling stories. And he loved farting. Boy, did he love farting. When he got excited, sparks of electricity flew from his hands, his ears, and…well, I’ll leave the rest to you imagination.”—page 360
I’M CRYING! Is this book even real?!
Hearth needs to stop backtalking Thor, I don’t care if he doesn’t understand you, you’re going to be turned into fried elf on a stick if you don’t stop it.
The first thing I’m doing if I ever become a demigod, I’m befriending some magic beast that can make transportation easier.
Holy shit, Gunilla! They just risked their life to save your feathered ass and you’re going to pull this shit?!
I hate Hel.
Odin told Sam to bring Magnus?
THEY’RE ALL A FAMILY OF EMPTY CUPS! HOW SWEET!
“‘Right.’ I pulled my sword from pendant form. The blades’ glow made the heather look even paler and more ghostly. ‘Jack, you ready?’
‘Dude,’ said the sword, ‘I was forged ready. Still, I get the feeling we’re walking into a trap here.’
‘Show of hands,’ I asked my friends, ‘is anybody surprised by that?’
Nobody raised their hand.
‘Okay, cool,’ said Jack. ‘As long as you realize you’ll probably all die in agony and start Ragnarok, I’m down. Let’s do this!’”—page 436
Best.
“I remember the first time I saw Plymouth Rock.
My reaction was, ‘That’s it?’
Same with the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia and the Empire State Building in New York—up close and personal, they seemed smaller than I’d imagined, not worth the hype.”—page 437
The Empire State Building? Kid, you have no idea.
THANK GOD FOR HEARTH BEING DEAF!
GUNILLA YOU’RE THE WORST THAN CLARISSE I SWEAR! BUT FUCK YEAH FOR FLOOR 19 OR WHATEVER!
I love at the end of this chapter, Gunilla sees Surt and she’s like ‘fuck it…death to Surt!’
Well, don’t feel like a dick…now Gunilla is dead.
MAGNUS GIVING HIS DAD A HUG!
Fuck yeah you should ask Annabeth for help.
“CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE Oh…So That’s Who Fenris Smelled in Chapter Sixty-Three”—page 472
I really liked this chapter title.
ODIN IS X, HOLY SHIT! He stood in line in a blizzard for six days to discover the sorcery of the smartphone?
Odin is like Dr. Phil?
HE’S GOING TO SEE ANNIE!
LOKI HAS THOR’S HAMMER! OH SHIT!
Yay for the funny chapter titles making a come back!
“Yeah, I know. You guys are going to read about how I died in agony, and you’re going to be like, ‘Wow! That sounds cool, Magnus! Can I die in agony too?’
No. Just no.”—page 3
This is going to be a great book series.
“no-thank-you o’clock”
Of course Magnus watches Doctor Who.
“I thrust my hand toward the river. I imagined I was reaching for my mom, trying to pull her from the past—trying to save her from the wolves and the burning apartment.”—page 32
Aw, that’s really sad, poor Magnus.
“I knew a woman who’d adopted a grocery cart and named it Clarence.”—page 36
There’s a story I want to know about.
“I didn’t know who this fiery jack-hole was, but I knew a bully when I met one.”—page 37.
Jack-hole? You mean…
Magnus watched the Princess Bride 26 times?
“Weakly, I raised my free hand. I flipped him a gesture that he wouldn’t need to know sign language to understand.”—page 47
MAGNUS CHASE JUST FLIPPED OFF THIS FIRE GOD THING! MY GOD!
I like how more…aware Magnus is narrating this story. With the exception of the “Look I didn’t want to be half-blood” bit at the beginning, Percy never really spoke directly to the audience. Magnus does and it’s hilarious.
“‘You guys started working here the same year,’ I noted. ‘749…what is C.E?’
‘Common Era,’ said the manager. ‘What you might call A.D.’
‘Then why don’t you just say A.D.?’
‘Because Anno Domini, in the Year of Our Lord, is fine for Christians, but Thor gets a little upset. He still holds a grudge that Jesus never showed up for that duel he challenged him to.’”—page 57
WHAT?!
“For the record, Magnus means great. My mom named me that because our family was descended from Swedish kings or something a billion years ago. Also, she said I was the greatest thing that ever happened to her. I know. One, two three: Awwwwwww. It was an annoying named to have. People tended to spell it Mangus, rhymes with Angus. I always corrected them: No, it’s Magnus, rhymes with swag-ness. At which point they would stare at me blankly.”—page 63
That first part was sweet but that last part was painful.
MAGNUS IS SUCH A BOOK NERD I LOVE HIM!
X seems cute.
People here seem pretty chill about doomsday. I guess, you kind of have to be in this universe. Get a nosebleed and boom it’s the end of the world.
I KNEW THAT SAM WAS A DAUGHTER OF LOKI!
Why do these ancient prophecies have to be cryptic and in rhyme. Why can’t it be (to quote the Nostalgia Critic) “Go fucking here, to do fucking that, because fucking this”
Magnus got Frank Zhang-ed!
“‘Let’s take that hill!’ He pointed to a nearby ridge at the edge of the woods.
‘Why?’ I yelled.
‘Because it’s a hill!’
‘He loves taking hills,’ Mallory grumbled. ‘It’s a Civil War thing.’”—page 125
I adore TJ.
Plot twist: Bianca di Angelo is in this hotel.
Hearth is really cute.
Annabeth is just going through the Battle of the Labyrinth again. She thinks a loved one is dead and then he comes back!
“Water bubbled out of Mimir’s ears. ‘I’m pretty sure they didn’t say blah, blah, blah. However, you’re correct. The island where the gods imprisoned Ferris is only accessible on the first full moon of each year. That’s now seven days hence.’
‘Who makes up these rules?’ I asked.
‘I made up that rule,’ Mimir said. ‘So shut up.’”—page 195
That was pretty funny.
A talking pigeon turns into a talk bald eagle.
Y’know I’m sure there’s an easier way to get the attention of a sea goddess…maybe a certain boyfriend of a certain cousin of a certain son of Frey.
“‘At least Magnus found out where the sword is,’ Blitzen said. ‘Besides, Ran’s a goddess. She’ll be on our side, right?’”—page 214
Blitz, sweetie, you have a lot to learn about gods.
You don’t see many arranged marriages where, at least the girl is in love with the guy. He seems nice so I kinda want them to get together. Maybe Amir will die a hero and go to HV. Also that’s cool that she wants to be a pilot.
Aegir is a hipster.
“For the millionth time, I wanted to find my frolicking summer-god dad and smack him. Why had he given away his weapon in the first place? For love? Weren’t gods supposed to be smarter than that?”—page 238
Magnus, sweetie, you have a lot to learn about gods.
Huh, so we’re nearly half through the book and we’ve got the Sword of Summer…not a good sign.
“‘Could you do a glamour and turn into something smaller?’ I asked it. ‘Preferably not a chain, since it’s no longer the 1990s?’
The sword didn’t reply (duh), but I imagined it was bumming at a more interrogative pitch, like, Such as what?
‘I dunno. Something pocket-size and innocuous. A pen, maybe?’
The sword pulsed, almost like it was laughing. I imagined it saying, A pen sword. That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”—page 244
It’s funny because meta. Oh and a pen sword is stupid but a necklace sword is so bad ass.
Poor Hearth…his parents are ashamed that he’s deaf and likes magic.
Huh so Freya is Blitz’s mom. My god that scene between those two was great.
I was a little concerned I wouldn’t like Blitz and even Hearth but I really like them, they’re both really great characters.
Y’know sometimes in books you have this moment of sobriety, I got this when I started feeling sorry for the sword and Freya was like “you gotta friends with the sword”. Like what the fuck was I even reading? My god, if you guys start shipping the sword with other objects or characters, I swear…
“‘On Lyngvi—the Isle of Heather.’ The goddess tapped her chin. ‘Let’s see, today is Thor’s Day the sixteenth.’
‘You mean Thursday?’
‘That’s what I said. The island will rise on the full moon six days from now, on the twenty-second, which is Woden’s Day.’
‘Wednesday?’ I asked.”—page 280-281
I found that strangely funny “Thor’s Day” and “Woden’s Day”. After Thor’s Day is it Frey’s Day?
“I hate the word demigod. I prefer born with a target on my back.”—Blitz, page 286
Accurate.
“The most unreal thing about the bad was Taylor Swift’s ‘Blank Space’ blasting from the speakers.
‘Dwarves like human music?’ I asked Blitzen.
‘You mean humans like our music.’
‘But…’ I had a sudden image of Taylor Swift’s mom and Freya having a girls’ night out in Nidavellir. ‘Never mind.’”—page 288
Wait what?
Also…dwarves evolved from maggots…what the fuck?
THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT! Blitz should have been making armor. Fashionable armor.
There’s no stronger bond than a boy and his sword…wait.
“Junior huffed. ‘The point is, this rope is even better! I call it Andskoti, the Adversary. It was woven with the most powerful paradoxes in the Nine Worlds—WiFi with no lag, a politician’s sincerity, a printer than prints, healthy deep-friend food, and an interesting grammar lecture!’”—page 321-322
Haha.
“Damnable”?
THE SWORD CAN SPEAK?! AND HE NAMES HIMSELF JACK?! My god.
“‘Might make you pass out,’ the sword agreed. ‘On the bright side, it looks like you’re going to die anyway.’
He had a point. (Oh, sorry. That was bad.)”—page 330
Not as bad as “swag-ness”.
THE SHIP IS MADE UP OF FINGER AND TOE NAILS OF THE DEAD?! WHAT THE FUCK?!
“Everything the thunder god did, he did with gusto. He loved cooking his goats. He loved eating and drinking mead. He loved telling stories. And he loved farting. Boy, did he love farting. When he got excited, sparks of electricity flew from his hands, his ears, and…well, I’ll leave the rest to you imagination.”—page 360
I’M CRYING! Is this book even real?!
Hearth needs to stop backtalking Thor, I don’t care if he doesn’t understand you, you’re going to be turned into fried elf on a stick if you don’t stop it.
The first thing I’m doing if I ever become a demigod, I’m befriending some magic beast that can make transportation easier.
Holy shit, Gunilla! They just risked their life to save your feathered ass and you’re going to pull this shit?!
I hate Hel.
Odin told Sam to bring Magnus?
THEY’RE ALL A FAMILY OF EMPTY CUPS! HOW SWEET!
“‘Right.’ I pulled my sword from pendant form. The blades’ glow made the heather look even paler and more ghostly. ‘Jack, you ready?’
‘Dude,’ said the sword, ‘I was forged ready. Still, I get the feeling we’re walking into a trap here.’
‘Show of hands,’ I asked my friends, ‘is anybody surprised by that?’
Nobody raised their hand.
‘Okay, cool,’ said Jack. ‘As long as you realize you’ll probably all die in agony and start Ragnarok, I’m down. Let’s do this!’”—page 436
Best.
“I remember the first time I saw Plymouth Rock.
My reaction was, ‘That’s it?’
Same with the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia and the Empire State Building in New York—up close and personal, they seemed smaller than I’d imagined, not worth the hype.”—page 437
The Empire State Building? Kid, you have no idea.
THANK GOD FOR HEARTH BEING DEAF!
GUNILLA YOU’RE THE WORST THAN CLARISSE I SWEAR! BUT FUCK YEAH FOR FLOOR 19 OR WHATEVER!
I love at the end of this chapter, Gunilla sees Surt and she’s like ‘fuck it…death to Surt!’
Well, don’t feel like a dick…now Gunilla is dead.
MAGNUS GIVING HIS DAD A HUG!
Fuck yeah you should ask Annabeth for help.
“CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE Oh…So That’s Who Fenris Smelled in Chapter Sixty-Three”—page 472
I really liked this chapter title.
ODIN IS X, HOLY SHIT! He stood in line in a blizzard for six days to discover the sorcery of the smartphone?
Odin is like Dr. Phil?
HE’S GOING TO SEE ANNIE!
LOKI HAS THOR’S HAMMER! OH SHIT!