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A review by plushiefrodo
The Gate Thief by Orson Scott Card
1.0
Why does Linkin Park start blasting in my mental ears whenever I read a book that disappoints?
[spoilers for The Lost Gate follow]
We left off last time with young Danny North officially becoming the new Gatefather (Think portal gun in human form). He has bested Loki, created a Great Gate which leads to the other world of Westil... but horrors! The families (groups of mages scattered acrss the globe) have learned about its existence, and everyone wants to use it to become as powerful as their ancestors were in the days when they were hailed as gods. War is sure to come, how can this pipsqueak of a hero save the day??
That's a great setup for a sequel, huh?
Too bad then that in the whole course of the book, nothing happens.
Well, except for awkward sexual advances every other page by every single teenaged girl towards our hero. (I'm not joking. Every. Single. One.) Apparently, because Danny has essential "god" powers now, that makes all young women buuurn with passion for him. I can understand maybe having one of his female friends falling sway to the desire to attach herself to power, but all of them? Within hours of each other? That's not only ridiculous, but it also makes for horribly redundant reading.
Oh yes, and Danny joins the track team! That happens! Priorities, you know. You have to maintain some semblance of a normal life when the entire world's population is in danger and you're the only thing holding back the potential storm.
It's not like there wasn't any magic in the book though. The rest of the book was devoted to infodumps about the BIG BAD, and how gates and clants and other gatemaker's trapped gates and manmage's powers work and... and... um... well, that was about it.
So basically, this book can be summed up by telling you that THE DEVIL wants the gates so he can have all of the power, the families are gonna start WW III, and every female wants to have Danny's babies. Because of reasons. And now Loki has all the power and the Devil is trapped inside Danny. Oh, also the king of Westil's ex-mistress is trapped inside the queen's body and Loki has no idea.
There. I just saved you 380 pages worth of reading, and you're ready to read what I very much hope will be a better conclusion. Card, you're a capable writer. I expect more from you.
I TRIED SO HAAARD AND GOT SO FAAAR... BUT IN THE END IT DOESN'T EVEN MAAAAAATTER!
[spoilers for The Lost Gate follow]
We left off last time with young Danny North officially becoming the new Gatefather (Think portal gun in human form). He has bested Loki, created a Great Gate which leads to the other world of Westil... but horrors! The families (groups of mages scattered acrss the globe) have learned about its existence, and everyone wants to use it to become as powerful as their ancestors were in the days when they were hailed as gods. War is sure to come, how can this pipsqueak of a hero save the day??
That's a great setup for a sequel, huh?
Too bad then that in the whole course of the book, nothing happens.
Well, except for awkward sexual advances every other page by every single teenaged girl towards our hero. (I'm not joking. Every. Single. One.) Apparently, because Danny has essential "god" powers now, that makes all young women buuurn with passion for him. I can understand maybe having one of his female friends falling sway to the desire to attach herself to power, but all of them? Within hours of each other? That's not only ridiculous, but it also makes for horribly redundant reading.
Oh yes, and Danny joins the track team! That happens! Priorities, you know. You have to maintain some semblance of a normal life when the entire world's population is in danger and you're the only thing holding back the potential storm.
It's not like there wasn't any magic in the book though. The rest of the book was devoted to infodumps about the BIG BAD, and how gates and clants and other gatemaker's trapped gates and manmage's powers work and... and... um... well, that was about it.
So basically, this book can be summed up by telling you that
There. I just saved you 380 pages worth of reading, and you're ready to read what I very much hope will be a better conclusion. Card, you're a capable writer. I expect more from you.
I TRIED SO HAAARD AND GOT SO FAAAR... BUT IN THE END IT DOESN'T EVEN MAAAAAATTER!