A review by adw7984
Monsieur by Emma Becker, Maxim Jakubowski

1.0

I seriously don't know how to even write this review right now. I'm still in shock over what I just read. This book was high on my list in terms of expectations and man, did it fail me in every way possible.

I actually had to read this book in sections because I just couldn't get past a lot of stuff. The first 150 pages shocked me, and not in a good way. I was expecting the writing to be more along the lines of Nikki Gemmell, but instead was shocked to find it more like E.L. James, but slightly better written. I've never heard the word cunt used so much with regards to sexy times. Seriously, it's basically on every page. Maybe a thesaurus, Ms. Becker? Oops, I lied. She did call it a jewel case once. Classy.

The language is also so strange to me. Ellie and Monsieur speak so formally to each other, it is really pretentious sounding. The way they wrote to each e-mails was bizarre. Not the act of writing e-mails, but the style of language used. I can safely say that both characters were close to getting punched in the face by me....you know, if they were real. These are two vile humans that I would never associate with in real life. Neither one had a redeemable quality.

I also made the mistake of reading parts of this book while eating my lunch. Do not do it. You will gag. I've also decided that Monsieur (gross) is really into ass-play...like a lot. What grossed me out while I was eating? It involves shit on the sheets. We'll just leave it at that.

Overall, I just found this book incredibly cringe-worthy. I was embarrassed to be reading it in public and I'm sure my facial expressions gave it away.

P.S. Ms. Becker, the tampon thing has already been done in 50 Shades of Grey. It's still not sexy.

This book was provided for review on Confessions of a Bookaholic. All thoughts and opinions are my own.