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A review by marxistjudas
Boo by Neil Smith
5.0
i love this book. i love it with all my soul. i went into it unsure if it would be cynical and unpleasant about being a high school loser and bullying and the woes of youth. it wasn't. it was one of the loveliest and most healing narratives i've ever read. (it deserves another half-star, but given that my response is pretty heavily subjective i rounded down rather than up (edit: and changed my mind because it's not like i can be anything *but* subjective).)
let me try to explain. stutteringly and imperfectly. how much i love this book. how much i love how it deals with faith and mental illness.
just. that johnny and his mental health issues are a *red herring* in terms of the murder mystery plot. because. of course we think the troubled boy who spent the summer in hospital(?) is the obvious culprit. that boo's distance from his own trauma, his steady, stoic indifference to the situation is *also* a red herring. because it's okay to be affected by things. it's okay to hurt. even if it's supposed to be something that ~everyone goes through~. even if you think it's so much less awful than what others have experienced.
because johnny's speech to boo in the context of what happens is even more beautiful and poignant and heartbreaking. because johnny actually cared about boo. because you are not alone and you are not unlovable and you do not deserve to be hurt. because you are still good and worthy of love even if your response to abuse is anger.
(i should probably note: i do not think that boo brought the gun to school in order to massacre people, or even to kill or induce fear in his tormentors. i think he meant to commit suicide publicly, and johnny tried to save him. and yes, there would be anger and violence in doing that so publicly. it would have traces of hatred and revenge. but it's a response i think is understandable and sympathetic and painful. i definitely wouldn't have as much sympathy for him if i felt he'd wanted to commit a massacre, and i'm not sure how i'd feel if i'd thought he meant to kill his bullies. i'd certainly still have sympathy in that case, but how much i'm unsure.)
and that johnny, who is troubled and painted as the obvious suspect, is actually the fucking *hero*. i love that. i love how it upends all the hideous tropes about high school massacres. i love how, instead, it actually explores boo's pain and motives. i love how johnny is the opposite of what ableism expects him to be and i love how the book refuses to be reductive. *<3*
and i love how the book allows for hope. i don't exactly know how to clarify that, but the subject is so painful and yet the hope is so wide. there's the beautiful humanistic hope of the friendships formed. because you can be okay and loved. there's the hope of johnny receiving support and love even as he continues to struggle with his mental health. there's the fact that he so completely forgives boo and doesn't mention what happened. there is all that is mysterious and inexplicable and beautiful, whether you think of it as the hope that maybe God loves you too, maybe God forgives and wants the best for you, and. as i said i am failing to be articulate, possibly even more than i'm aware (:/), but. the magic of it. of how it's set up all along, the maybe there's this and boo being practical and doubting and there being more than expected. i love magical realism so damn much because of what it means about the beauty of the world and unexpected hope. i love the picture the book paints of God, hapless but hopeful and trying, biding their ever-patient time.
i spent half of this review in tears. that is how much i love this book.
let me try to explain. stutteringly and imperfectly. how much i love this book. how much i love how it deals with faith and mental illness.
just. that johnny and his mental health issues are a *red herring* in terms of the murder mystery plot. because. of course we think the troubled boy who spent the summer in hospital(?) is the obvious culprit. that boo's distance from his own trauma, his steady, stoic indifference to the situation is *also* a red herring. because it's okay to be affected by things. it's okay to hurt. even if it's supposed to be something that ~everyone goes through~. even if you think it's so much less awful than what others have experienced.
because johnny's speech to boo in the context of what happens is even more beautiful and poignant and heartbreaking. because johnny actually cared about boo. because you are not alone and you are not unlovable and you do not deserve to be hurt. because you are still good and worthy of love even if your response to abuse is anger.
(i should probably note: i do not think that boo brought the gun to school in order to massacre people, or even to kill or induce fear in his tormentors. i think he meant to commit suicide publicly, and johnny tried to save him. and yes, there would be anger and violence in doing that so publicly. it would have traces of hatred and revenge. but it's a response i think is understandable and sympathetic and painful. i definitely wouldn't have as much sympathy for him if i felt he'd wanted to commit a massacre, and i'm not sure how i'd feel if i'd thought he meant to kill his bullies. i'd certainly still have sympathy in that case, but how much i'm unsure.)
and that johnny, who is troubled and painted as the obvious suspect, is actually the fucking *hero*. i love that. i love how it upends all the hideous tropes about high school massacres. i love how, instead, it actually explores boo's pain and motives. i love how johnny is the opposite of what ableism expects him to be and i love how the book refuses to be reductive. *<3*
and i love how the book allows for hope. i don't exactly know how to clarify that, but the subject is so painful and yet the hope is so wide. there's the beautiful humanistic hope of the friendships formed. because you can be okay and loved. there's the hope of johnny receiving support and love even as he continues to struggle with his mental health. there's the fact that he so completely forgives boo and doesn't mention what happened. there is all that is mysterious and inexplicable and beautiful, whether you think of it as the hope that maybe God loves you too, maybe God forgives and wants the best for you, and. as i said i am failing to be articulate, possibly even more than i'm aware (:/), but. the magic of it. of how it's set up all along, the maybe there's this and boo being practical and doubting and there being more than expected. i love magical realism so damn much because of what it means about the beauty of the world and unexpected hope. i love the picture the book paints of God, hapless but hopeful and trying, biding their ever-patient time.
i spent half of this review in tears. that is how much i love this book.