A review by ntedeyan
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory by Caitlin Doughty

3.0

Heads up - the book details the accidental death of a child + discusses the disposition of infant and child remains (i.e. what you do with a dead baby's body).

The author recounts her journey from a terrified-of-death child to the death-positive charter member of The Order of the Good Death. Her premise is that her terrified-of-mortality perspective, shared by the majority of Americans, was a result of her social, cultural, and familial environment. And if it can be shaped, it can be changed.

I am grateful that Jewish culture offers time-tested rituals to guide the preparation and disposition of the body and the journey through grief for the mourners. Because of my personal frame of reference, the extreme fear and denial of mortality that drives the author and so many of the characters in her book didn't really resonate with me.

Except for the thought of the death of a child - any child - most especially one of my children. Perhaps this is my privileged, modern, First World perspective speaking here - two hundred years ago, a woman my age would have almost certainly buried more than one - but I simply can't accept the idea of a parent outliving a child.

Other than that tender subject, the book was an easy, enjoyable, entertaining read.