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A review by affabletoaster
Born Confused by Tanuja Desai Hidier
3.0
Whew, this is a LONG, different book. I listened to the audiobook, and I think if I were reading the paper copy I would have skipped/skimmed long parts of this. For the first half of the book, I was fairly patient with the self-examination and the stream-of-consciousness, but after many hours of the audiobook I just wanted them to get on with the plot, and for SOMEONE to say something directly to SOMEONE else without any more pussyfooting around or any more phrases beginning with "it seemed like...".
Spoilery bits:
The character of Gwyn is extremely frustrating. She is, of course, the trope of the poor little rich girl who has figured out how to get everyone to throng around her while she convinces them that they're lucky she pays attention to them. I was so delighted when Sabina accuses her of "appropriating" Indian customs, but that never gets any traction, and when Dimple finally let's Gwyn have it, towards the end of the book, accusing her of "taking everything," Gwyn manages to make Dimple feel guilty! Infuriating. As far as I can tell, the book's message is that, since Dimple "gets the guy," then we can all ignore Gwyn's horrible behaviour.
I think Gwyn drove me extra-nuts because I really identified with Dimple's "place" in their relationship, having had a long string of "best friends" in elementary-middle-high school who were conventionally attractive, got lots of attention (and EVERY guy I liked), and who used me (occasionally overtly) to make themselves feel more desirable and powerful, some of them while also mooching off the stability of my home life.
Karsh is also pretty maddening. He clearly sees himself as some sort of white knight, needing to "protect" Gwyn and "show her not all men are like her dad," etc. And both Gwyn and Dimple are completely infatuated and orbiting around him. At one point, when he arrives somewhere, everyone (parents, children, cousins, and all) at once exclaim "Karsh!" in rapturous tones. And he speaks in very unnatural superlatives, lots of "you're amazing," "she's special," blah. It's not believable to be constantly saying these things sincerely. And then there was some downright juvenile stuff, like him hinting that he likes her by...leaving his shoes at her house twice. What?
The saving grace for this book is Dimple's parents, who are just the right amount of complex, and whose idiosyncrasies and hypocrasies are really quite believable. I did find it a bit odd how quickly they went from tee-totaling to drinking their faces off, but that's a minor quibble.
And speaking of Quibbles, I was really stunned that Dimple et al skipped right over "trans" and referred to Zara with the phrase, "she's a HE!" I'm certainly no authority on these things, but I was surprised the possibility that Zara was a "she" in all aspects of her life was not part of the discussion.
I read another review which said that this book felt like it was written by a hipster. I think that nails it on the head. "Well-behaved girl from stable Indian immigrant family learns to drink, do drugs, go to clubs, and make out with boys. She meets Lesbians and a drag queen, too. But she does these things with Indian family members, and therefore finds her identity. Also, DJs are really cool. The end." And there are loads of initialisms and acronyms that we are only sort of supposed to understand, and there's this really weird commitment to some kind of identity alphabet that was clunky to introduce and didn't really lend any personality or elucidation as the plot wore on, except to be gimmicky.
This review is going to come off that I really didn't like the book, which isn't altogether true, but I was very frustrated with the last third of it, so I think that colours my reflections right now. All in all, there were some parts of that lengthy description that I really liked, and the window into Indian-American culture, identity, and adaptation was fascinating. I think I'd like to read more books exploring similar themes (including one where the culturally-appropriating friend really gets hers. I've got an itch to scratch), but I don't think I'll be reading Hidier's sequel to this one.
Spoilery bits:
I think Gwyn drove me extra-nuts because I really identified with Dimple's "place" in their relationship, having had a long string of "best friends" in elementary-middle-high school who were conventionally attractive, got lots of attention (and EVERY guy I liked), and who used me (occasionally overtly) to make themselves feel more desirable and powerful, some of them while also mooching off the stability of my home life.
Karsh is also pretty maddening. He clearly sees himself as some sort of white knight, needing to "protect" Gwyn and "show her not all men are like her dad," etc. And both Gwyn and Dimple are completely infatuated and orbiting around him. At one point, when he arrives somewhere, everyone (parents, children, cousins, and all) at once exclaim "Karsh!" in rapturous tones. And he speaks in very unnatural superlatives, lots of "you're amazing," "she's special," blah. It's not believable to be constantly saying these things sincerely. And then there was some downright juvenile stuff, like him hinting that he likes her by...leaving his shoes at her house twice. What?
The saving grace for this book is Dimple's parents, who are just the right amount of complex, and whose idiosyncrasies and hypocrasies are really quite believable. I did find it a bit odd how quickly they went from tee-totaling to drinking their faces off, but that's a minor quibble.
And speaking of Quibbles, I was really stunned that Dimple et al skipped right over "trans" and referred to Zara with the phrase, "she's a HE!" I'm certainly no authority on these things, but I was surprised the possibility that Zara was a "she" in all aspects of her life was not part of the discussion.
I read another review which said that this book felt like it was written by a hipster. I think that nails it on the head. "Well-behaved girl from stable Indian immigrant family learns to drink, do drugs, go to clubs, and make out with boys. She meets Lesbians and a drag queen, too. But she does these things with Indian family members, and therefore finds her identity. Also, DJs are really cool. The end." And there are loads of initialisms and acronyms that we are only sort of supposed to understand, and there's this really weird commitment to some kind of identity alphabet that was clunky to introduce and didn't really lend any personality or elucidation as the plot wore on, except to be gimmicky.
This review is going to come off that I really didn't like the book, which isn't altogether true, but I was very frustrated with the last third of it, so I think that colours my reflections right now. All in all, there were some parts of that lengthy description that I really liked, and the window into Indian-American culture, identity, and adaptation was fascinating. I think I'd like to read more books exploring similar themes (including one where the culturally-appropriating friend really gets hers. I've got an itch to scratch), but I don't think I'll be reading Hidier's sequel to this one.