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laurenkd89 's review for:
Dark Horses
by Susan Mihalic
This book was very hard to read - it doesn't shy away from very raw discussions of difficult topics - major content warnings for familial, sexual, and emotional abuse. This reminded me of [b:My Dark Vanessa|44890081|My Dark Vanessa|Kate Elizabeth Russell|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1583447793l/44890081._SY75_.jpg|67044583] in so many ways, so different but so similar in the patterns and cycles of abuse, the trauma, the shame, and the emotional manipulation.
Roan Montgomery is a fifteen-year-old equestrian star, her father the famed Olympic equestrian Monty Montgomery. Riding is her life, and she knows that it's her life because her father made it that way - runs the farm of her dreams, buys her the horses she loves so much, and trains her to stardom. But behind closed doors, her father has been sexually abusing her since she was six years old. Roan told her mother, and her mother did nothing, so she's never breathed a word about it to anyone. Roan's father holds an iron vise over her life and behavior, and Roan lives in half-fear, half-admiration of him, constantly, telling other people in her life that he's just "strict" and needs to follow his directions to be successful. Worst of all, Roan feels complicit in all of this, because for a while, she's derived pleasure from his horrible abuse (with no one telling her that none of this is her fault, how could she know better?). But she knows that if she says anything, her world will fall apart - she'll lose everything she loves. One day, Roan's classmate Will Howard gives her a ride home and asks her out. Slowly, Will shows Roan that her world could be so much bigger and freer than the confines that her dad keeps her in.
I loved Roan as a main character. She is difficult, strong, and resilient at such a young age, balancing so much pressure, so many secrets, and so, so much abuse. She changes throughout the book in a very realistic, gradual way - the book has many other characters that are well-developed, but the narrative is really a character study on her. The only thing that kept me from giving this five stars was the ending - it wasn't what I expected at all, not necessarily bad, just something about it was not as satisfying as I'd like. Overall, this was a shocking, beautifully written book - very hard to read because of the difficult subject matter, but so well executed and important. Highly recommend.
Roan Montgomery is a fifteen-year-old equestrian star, her father the famed Olympic equestrian Monty Montgomery. Riding is her life, and she knows that it's her life because her father made it that way - runs the farm of her dreams, buys her the horses she loves so much, and trains her to stardom. But behind closed doors, her father has been sexually abusing her since she was six years old. Roan told her mother, and her mother did nothing, so she's never breathed a word about it to anyone. Roan's father holds an iron vise over her life and behavior, and Roan lives in half-fear, half-admiration of him, constantly, telling other people in her life that he's just "strict" and needs to follow his directions to be successful. Worst of all, Roan feels complicit in all of this, because for a while, she's derived pleasure from his horrible abuse (with no one telling her that none of this is her fault, how could she know better?). But she knows that if she says anything, her world will fall apart - she'll lose everything she loves. One day, Roan's classmate Will Howard gives her a ride home and asks her out. Slowly, Will shows Roan that her world could be so much bigger and freer than the confines that her dad keeps her in.
I loved Roan as a main character. She is difficult, strong, and resilient at such a young age, balancing so much pressure, so many secrets, and so, so much abuse. She changes throughout the book in a very realistic, gradual way - the book has many other characters that are well-developed, but the narrative is really a character study on her. The only thing that kept me from giving this five stars was the ending - it wasn't what I expected at all, not necessarily bad, just something about it was not as satisfying as I'd like. Overall, this was a shocking, beautifully written book - very hard to read because of the difficult subject matter, but so well executed and important. Highly recommend.