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A review by trike
If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?: My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating by Alan Alda
4.0
Alan Alda did a yoeman’s job explaining science to ordinary folks as the host of PBS’ Scientific America Frontiers and this book is in the same vein as that much-missed TV series. This is not rigorous science reporting; instead, it is simply Alda’s anecdotal experiences teaching scientists, doctors and teachers how to communicate more effectively. Think of it like an extended TED talk: it’s meant to get you curious about the subject so you can go down various rabbit holes of your choosing. Follow your nose, see where it leads you.
For me, I came away from this with a greater appreciation of improv acting, particularly mirroring, which is something I’ve watched but never heard anyone explain before. Mirroring is when two people mimic each other’s movements and/or speech, to the point where they are almost perfectly in sync. I’d assumed it was a clever acting trick, but apparently it goes deeper than that, engaging parts of our brains we don’t use much, which is intriguing. The fact that non-actors can quickly become adept at this and find it beneficial to their work is really interesting.
That leads to a discussion of the differences between empathy and sympathy, a distinction I’d never pondered before. Bullies and other human monsters have plenty of empathy, the ability to understand your feelings, which is why they can so readily push your buttons, but they lack sympathy, which allows them to commiserate with you and share your emotions.
I think this is well worth your time because it opens up a fascinating new way to view others.
For me, I came away from this with a greater appreciation of improv acting, particularly mirroring, which is something I’ve watched but never heard anyone explain before. Mirroring is when two people mimic each other’s movements and/or speech, to the point where they are almost perfectly in sync. I’d assumed it was a clever acting trick, but apparently it goes deeper than that, engaging parts of our brains we don’t use much, which is intriguing. The fact that non-actors can quickly become adept at this and find it beneficial to their work is really interesting.
That leads to a discussion of the differences between empathy and sympathy, a distinction I’d never pondered before. Bullies and other human monsters have plenty of empathy, the ability to understand your feelings, which is why they can so readily push your buttons, but they lack sympathy, which allows them to commiserate with you and share your emotions.
I think this is well worth your time because it opens up a fascinating new way to view others.