Scan barcode
A review by danicapage
When I Was White: A Memoir by Sarah Valentine
3.0
Disclaimer: By making this comment, I’m not trying to denigrate the author or her experience. It seems like her relationship with her mother was complicated and that her mother lied often and frequently and purposely hid the truth. While I don’t think this was the author’s intent, some comments came across a little bit victim blaming. No two people experience rape the same way or react the same. And trauma can make it difficult for people to remember things. Somebody having sex with somebody who is passed out is rape, somebody having sex with somebody they drugged is raped, and somebody could have been in a relationship with somebody/gone to a party with them and even liked them and still been raped.
I don’t think the author’s intent was to say otherwise, but how certain things were said made it seem so. I think it was meant to reflect and show her tumultuous and problematic relationship with her mom and her mom’s story alone. But I can’t leave a review and not start with that.
Warnings: I don’t feel like there are too many warnings to give here: racism, sexual assault/rape/mental illness, some tame sexual content.
I don’t know what to make of this book in some ways. A lot of reviewers are saying and criticizing the author for not realizing and figuring out she was Black sooner. I think that’s unfair for the reasons the author explains throughout the book. Memoirs are always hard for me to rate. I felt some of the pacing and what she chose to focus on was off. For example, the lengthy description of a wedding. I listened to audio, so I can’t comment on errors or anything like that.
I also felt this memoir in many ways was very moving and poignant. I never felt completely hooked or captivated, but it was an intriguing read.
I don’t think the author’s intent was to say otherwise, but how certain things were said made it seem so. I think it was meant to reflect and show her tumultuous and problematic relationship with her mom and her mom’s story alone. But I can’t leave a review and not start with that.
Warnings: I don’t feel like there are too many warnings to give here: racism, sexual assault/rape/mental illness, some tame sexual content.
I don’t know what to make of this book in some ways. A lot of reviewers are saying and criticizing the author for not realizing and figuring out she was Black sooner. I think that’s unfair for the reasons the author explains throughout the book. Memoirs are always hard for me to rate. I felt some of the pacing and what she chose to focus on was off. For example, the lengthy description of a wedding. I listened to audio, so I can’t comment on errors or anything like that.
I also felt this memoir in many ways was very moving and poignant. I never felt completely hooked or captivated, but it was an intriguing read.