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A review by reynastillo
You Don't Know Me But I Know You by Rebecca Barrow
1.0
I had to wait a bit to calm down before writing this review, as I was so furious at the end of reading this that I knew whatever I wrote would be an incoherent tangent. Despite being over three months since I’ve finished this, however, I still feel an irrational rage just thinking about this book. So forgive me in advance for ranting.
This story just did not work for me. While it tries to be something revolutionary by talking about teen pregnancy, it does it in the worst way possible. First, let me express my disbelief at the utopia the main character (sorry, I don't remember her name because she's just that forgettable) lives in. You would think a realistic fiction book about teen pregnancy would be somewhat realistic, right? Wrong. Everything goes perfectly for the main character. Her parents support her throughout, both of them, and more unbelievable is that her boyfriend stays with her. They are bonded by their “undying love," which seemed way too far-fetched to me.
They could have made the story about surviving high school and raising a baby through the pressure, but instead the author chose to fabricate drama to replace actual substance. The main plot is basically: “What should we do with the baby?” and “Should I tell my best friend that I'm pregnant or not?” It’s so contrived and just plain boring to read through.
Also, I just re-read the description for this book and realized I forgot the side plot about the main character being adopted. You know why? Because it adds nothing to the story. Oh wait, it does add something—more fake drama the author loves. The girl’s biological mother goes through all of the trouble to contact her and then...nothing happens. The main character doesn’t even meet her. The biological mother is just in there so the main character feels bad and has a justification for her choice at the end of the story. Her reasoning is that she doesn’t want to end up like her mother, who was also a teen mom. That could have been explained in two sentences instead of dedicating entire chapters on a character no one cares about. It's supposed to add an element of mystery to the story, which was part of what drew me to the book, but the execution falls flat on its face. It seems like the author went, "So, we have teen pregnancy, now what other controversial topic can we stuff in here? Adoption? Perfect."
The writing overall is dull and downright atrocious at times. This description in particular extremely annoyed me: “María smoothed her hands over her black Peter-Pan collared dress—with the pink framed glasses, she was the perfect Mexican-American Wednesday Addams-Barbie hybrid.”
This is word for word from the book and it doesn’t get much better from there.
Another thing I hated was the main character. She was so entitled; she seemed surprised she actually got pregnant even though she knew there was a risk. The main character fully consented to having sex, and did it multiple times--she can't blame anyone but herself for her predicament. There is always risk involved, and she knew that beforehand. She says in the book that she was often warned about the possibility of pregnancy; she just didn't think it'd ever happen to her. But surprise surprise, it did.
Characters are supposed to have an arc where they learn and grow from the events of the book, but this character did just the opposite. She was pushing away everyone who loved her and offered her support--her best friend, family, and boyfriend. She went from being the "perfect girl" to feeling entitled to doing/saying anything she felt like with the excuse that "she was pregnant." She was, to put it simply, a jerk. I understand that she was going through mood swings and stress, but generally you’re supposed to feel sympathy towards the main character and I felt none whatsoever. I just couldn’t feel bad for her situation because of her attitude towards it. She was incredibly rude throughout, and that never changed for a second.
What really got to me, though, was the ending. The main character got an abortion. Now, the topic of abortion is a sensitive one and I won’t delve into my opinion here. Everything, however, was poised for her to keep the baby. Plot-wise, it would have been more interesting to see how she coped with it. And it makes sense as her family is supportive of her (they were the ones who let her have sex with her boyfriend and got her the birth control) as well as her boyfriend. Her family and boyfriend could have helped her take care of the baby.
Besides that, the reasoning for the abortion wasn’t very compelling. The main character wanted her and her boyfriend to go to college and 'follow their dreams'. Never once was there something like, “her family is too poor to afford a child” or “she’d be disowned if she kept it”. No, she just wanted an easy, regular high school life for her and her boyfriend. If she had really wanted that, though, she wouldn't have had sex in the first place. She fully knew what she was getting into, yet still decided to risk it.
She then acts as if the abortion was solving a problem in her life and was just another thing off her to-do list, not feeling much of anything afterwards. Even if she felt it was the right thing to do, it was still her baby and she should’ve felt some emotion towards it. She and her boyfriend had even discussed naming it. Besides, the main character was already around 5 weeks pregnant. The whole buildup, just to end with an abortion, seemed anticlimactic and illogical to me. If the book was supposed to be a realistic portrayal of teen pregnancy, why were all the loose ends tied up so nicely? The baby was no longer a problem, almost no one had found out, her parents still loved her and her boyfriend stayed with her. (One might argue that abortion does not qualify as a happy ending, but the main character had no moral issues with it, so for her, it was a good ending.)
This book failed on so many levels. I know there are people out there who have become pregnant, quietly get an abortion, and go on with their lives as normal. But those stories aren't interesting, so it confounds me that the author choose to write about that when there are so many other avenues she could have taken to integrate the same topic. The main character learned absolutely nothing from her pregnancy; it did not change her in any way. The author hoped to add a new perspective on the controversial issue of teen pregnancy and abortion, but simply writing "she had an abortion" for shock value does not replace the substance this book desperately needs.
Okay, I can’t think about this book anymore. If you want a slow paced story with a bunch of irrelevant drama and no payoff, this book is for you. But if not (and I sincerely hope you don't), please, please, don't waste your time with this book.
This story just did not work for me. While it tries to be something revolutionary by talking about teen pregnancy, it does it in the worst way possible. First, let me express my disbelief at the utopia the main character (sorry, I don't remember her name because she's just that forgettable) lives in. You would think a realistic fiction book about teen pregnancy would be somewhat realistic, right? Wrong. Everything goes perfectly for the main character. Her parents support her throughout, both of them, and more unbelievable is that her boyfriend stays with her. They are bonded by their “undying love," which seemed way too far-fetched to me.
They could have made the story about surviving high school and raising a baby through the pressure, but instead the author chose to fabricate drama to replace actual substance. The main plot is basically: “What should we do with the baby?” and “Should I tell my best friend that I'm pregnant or not?” It’s so contrived and just plain boring to read through.
Also, I just re-read the description for this book and realized I forgot the side plot about the main character being adopted. You know why? Because it adds nothing to the story. Oh wait, it does add something—more fake drama the author loves. The girl’s biological mother goes through all of the trouble to contact her and then...nothing happens. The main character doesn’t even meet her. The biological mother is just in there so the main character feels bad and has a justification for her choice at the end of the story. Her reasoning is that she doesn’t want to end up like her mother, who was also a teen mom. That could have been explained in two sentences instead of dedicating entire chapters on a character no one cares about. It's supposed to add an element of mystery to the story, which was part of what drew me to the book, but the execution falls flat on its face. It seems like the author went, "So, we have teen pregnancy, now what other controversial topic can we stuff in here? Adoption? Perfect."
The writing overall is dull and downright atrocious at times. This description in particular extremely annoyed me: “María smoothed her hands over her black Peter-Pan collared dress—with the pink framed glasses, she was the perfect Mexican-American Wednesday Addams-Barbie hybrid.”
This is word for word from the book and it doesn’t get much better from there.
Another thing I hated was the main character. She was so entitled; she seemed surprised she actually got pregnant even though she knew there was a risk. The main character fully consented to having sex, and did it multiple times--she can't blame anyone but herself for her predicament. There is always risk involved, and she knew that beforehand. She says in the book that she was often warned about the possibility of pregnancy; she just didn't think it'd ever happen to her. But surprise surprise, it did.
Characters are supposed to have an arc where they learn and grow from the events of the book, but this character did just the opposite. She was pushing away everyone who loved her and offered her support--her best friend, family, and boyfriend. She went from being the "perfect girl" to feeling entitled to doing/saying anything she felt like with the excuse that "she was pregnant." She was, to put it simply, a jerk. I understand that she was going through mood swings and stress, but generally you’re supposed to feel sympathy towards the main character and I felt none whatsoever. I just couldn’t feel bad for her situation because of her attitude towards it. She was incredibly rude throughout, and that never changed for a second.
What really got to me, though, was the ending. The main character got an abortion. Now, the topic of abortion is a sensitive one and I won’t delve into my opinion here. Everything, however, was poised for her to keep the baby. Plot-wise, it would have been more interesting to see how she coped with it. And it makes sense as her family is supportive of her (they were the ones who let her have sex with her boyfriend and got her the birth control) as well as her boyfriend. Her family and boyfriend could have helped her take care of the baby.
Besides that, the reasoning for the abortion wasn’t very compelling. The main character wanted her and her boyfriend to go to college and 'follow their dreams'. Never once was there something like, “her family is too poor to afford a child” or “she’d be disowned if she kept it”. No, she just wanted an easy, regular high school life for her and her boyfriend. If she had really wanted that, though, she wouldn't have had sex in the first place. She fully knew what she was getting into, yet still decided to risk it.
She then acts as if the abortion was solving a problem in her life and was just another thing off her to-do list, not feeling much of anything afterwards. Even if she felt it was the right thing to do, it was still her baby and she should’ve felt some emotion towards it. She and her boyfriend had even discussed naming it. Besides, the main character was already around 5 weeks pregnant. The whole buildup, just to end with an abortion, seemed anticlimactic and illogical to me. If the book was supposed to be a realistic portrayal of teen pregnancy, why were all the loose ends tied up so nicely? The baby was no longer a problem, almost no one had found out, her parents still loved her and her boyfriend stayed with her. (One might argue that abortion does not qualify as a happy ending, but the main character had no moral issues with it, so for her, it was a good ending.)
This book failed on so many levels. I know there are people out there who have become pregnant, quietly get an abortion, and go on with their lives as normal. But those stories aren't interesting, so it confounds me that the author choose to write about that when there are so many other avenues she could have taken to integrate the same topic. The main character learned absolutely nothing from her pregnancy; it did not change her in any way. The author hoped to add a new perspective on the controversial issue of teen pregnancy and abortion, but simply writing "she had an abortion" for shock value does not replace the substance this book desperately needs.
Okay, I can’t think about this book anymore. If you want a slow paced story with a bunch of irrelevant drama and no payoff, this book is for you. But if not (and I sincerely hope you don't), please, please, don't waste your time with this book.