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A review by clairebartholomew549
These Impossible Things by Salma El-Wardany
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I read this book in one sitting and found it incredibly compelling. Jenna, Kees, and Malak are easy to root for from the very beginning, and their reckoning with growing up and who they want to be feels very relatable and interesting. I adore books that talk about female friendship and how we support each other through huge life things, and every character's inner life felt vivid and detailed. I found myself absorbed and moved by this book, and the ending hit every note perfectly.
One thing that I find problematic, though - which other reviewers have extrapolated on far more eloquently than I will - was that the white love interests are depicted as "good feminists," while the Arab Muslim love interests are depicted as misogynistic, controlling, abusive, and all around awful men. Obviously everyone has their own experiences, and if that is the author's experience then I don't want to judge that or argue it is wrong. But I do think it's worth interrogating that juxtaposition, and the idea that every Muslim man - or at least most - are sexist and demeaning to their partners and writ large, especially given the raft of Islamophobia in the West and the persistent stereotypes about Muslim men and Muslim relationships. There are certainly many Muslim men who are not domineering and possessive; there are certainly many Muslim women who do not chafe at the societal and family expectations placed upon them (and we all have societal and family expectations thrust upon us, regardless of our religion, ethnicity, or nationality); and there are certainly Muslim families who do not subscribe to the mentality of the families in this book. It's not that I don't think narratives like this are meaningful - they are incredibly meaningful, and I get so much out of them. But there are a lot of books about chafing against Muslim expectations (as there are of chafing against any religion or culture, of course), and I wonder if that's a monolithic experience. Again, I am not Muslim, so I am not at all an authority on this - just wanted to name it.
One thing that I find problematic, though - which other reviewers have extrapolated on far more eloquently than I will - was that the white love interests are depicted as "good feminists," while the Arab Muslim love interests are depicted as misogynistic, controlling, abusive, and all around awful men. Obviously everyone has their own experiences, and if that is the author's experience then I don't want to judge that or argue it is wrong. But I do think it's worth interrogating that juxtaposition, and the idea that every Muslim man - or at least most - are sexist and demeaning to their partners and writ large, especially given the raft of Islamophobia in the West and the persistent stereotypes about Muslim men and Muslim relationships. There are certainly many Muslim men who are not domineering and possessive; there are certainly many Muslim women who do not chafe at the societal and family expectations placed upon them (and we all have societal and family expectations thrust upon us, regardless of our religion, ethnicity, or nationality); and there are certainly Muslim families who do not subscribe to the mentality of the families in this book. It's not that I don't think narratives like this are meaningful - they are incredibly meaningful, and I get so much out of them. But there are a lot of books about chafing against Muslim expectations (as there are of chafing against any religion or culture, of course), and I wonder if that's a monolithic experience. Again, I am not Muslim, so I am not at all an authority on this - just wanted to name it.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Toxic relationship, Violence, Misogyny, Gaslighting, Islamophobia, Pregnancy, Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Abortion, Alcohol, Physical abuse, Sexism, Classism, and Domestic abuse