A review by goblinhearted
My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

4.0

My Dark Vanessa is an uncomfortable read–a harrowing but realistic portrayal of grooming and abuse between a high school teacher and his student. The way the novel portrays dissociation and the emotional aftermath of abuse is incredibly vivid and honest, making it hard to look away even when it’s painful. While difficult to read, the discomfort is a testament to how authentically the story captures these traumatic experiences.

 “What I want depends on what he wants.” 

The novel has been described as "Lolita, but from the perspective of a woman," but that feels a bit reductive. Lolita is in fact frequently referenced within the book, becoming a point of connection between the protagonist and her abuser, but My Dark Vanessa stands on its own in terms of its depth and exploration of trauma.

 "Sometimes I marvel at how easily I deceive people, doing it without even trying." 

What makes this story especially nuanced is how the protagonist reflects on the relationship as an adult, especially when her former teacher is accused by other students of similar abuse. She struggles to reconcile her past, unsure of how to feel about what happened since she never explicitly tried to end the relationship. This adds a lot of complexity to the story, making it a powerful look at power, manipulation, and self-identity.

This one could be an emotional experience to read, especially for those who have lived through similar experiences.