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A review by katharina90
What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
I'm always on the lookout for books about C-PTSD to foster a deeper understanding of my own complex trauma.
Foo writes about this topic in a very approachable way, blending memoir and journalism. At times it's a painful read but less triggering than I expected. What I found most interesting was her work with Dr. Jacob Ham.
I didn't love that the author sometimes presents subjective statements and experiences as universally true. I also strongly disagree with her generalization that Psychologists are more knowledgeable than LCSWs.
"We're gonna keep practicing curiosity and exploration rather than judgment, and it's through that practice that you'll start to be nicer to yourself."-Dr. Jacob Ham
"This was Dr. Ham’s whole theory: that because of its repetitive nature, complex trauma is fundamentally relational trauma. In other words, this is trauma caused by bad relationships with other people—people who were supposed to be caring and trustworthy and instead were hurtful. That meant future relationships with anybody would be harder for people with complex trauma because they were wired to believe that other people could not be trusted. The only way you could heal from relational trauma, he figured, was through practicing that relational dance with other people. Not just reading self-help books or meditating alone. We had to go out and practice maintaining relationships in order to reinforce our shattered belief that the world could be a safe place."
Foo writes about this topic in a very approachable way, blending memoir and journalism. At times it's a painful read but less triggering than I expected. What I found most interesting was her work with Dr. Jacob Ham.
I didn't love that the author sometimes presents subjective statements and experiences as universally true. I also strongly disagree with her generalization that Psychologists are more knowledgeable than LCSWs.
"We're gonna keep practicing curiosity and exploration rather than judgment, and it's through that practice that you'll start to be nicer to yourself."-Dr. Jacob Ham
"This was Dr. Ham’s whole theory: that because of its repetitive nature, complex trauma is fundamentally relational trauma. In other words, this is trauma caused by bad relationships with other people—people who were supposed to be caring and trustworthy and instead were hurtful. That meant future relationships with anybody would be harder for people with complex trauma because they were wired to believe that other people could not be trusted. The only way you could heal from relational trauma, he figured, was through practicing that relational dance with other people. Not just reading self-help books or meditating alone. We had to go out and practice maintaining relationships in order to reinforce our shattered belief that the world could be a safe place."
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, and Abandonment
Moderate: Racism, Suicidal thoughts, and Gaslighting
Minor: Hate crime and Police brutality