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A review by trish204
Lightspeed Magazine, February 2017 by John Joseph Adams
4.0
A short story about a slightly alternative Victorian England (therefore, I think the correct description is "steampunk"?) encountering an alien race.
This story was much lighter than the last one I read, mostly because of its healthy dose of biting humour as commentary on war, conquest, gender roles and a few other topics. My favourite passages:
"I am aware", I said primly [...] "But I was sorry afterward, whch is the very definition of diplomacy."
"Why did your British Empire see fit to colonize so much of the planet? [...] You did it for two reasons. [...] The places you took had things you wanted. Resources. Tea and cinnamon and precious metals and girls no one would ever debase themselves by marrying, but whom every British gentleman was happy to deflower. That’s the first reason you did what you did, and that’s the first reason we do what we do."
Arthur swallowed hard before whispering, "What’s the second reason?"
[...] "Because we can."
"The things we do tonight are crimes of war. They are not things for which
we can be punished in the court of law."
There were those who would insist that a lady’s chief graces were as follows: breeding,
beauty, and a blind adherence to the manners of the society in which she takes root, no
matter how senseless or silly those manners may be. It was considered better to bloom
beautifully and without offending anyone than to grow wanton and in healthy abundance.
“Clearly, this was a civilization cultivating itself for conquest.
Honestly, the alien protagonist was so likeable (to me at least; yes, I'm weird) that I couldn't bring myself to pity humanity. *lol*
This story was much lighter than the last one I read, mostly because of its healthy dose of biting humour as commentary on war, conquest, gender roles and a few other topics. My favourite passages:
Spoiler
"A ... diplomat?" Arthur blinked [...] "But the first thing you did was eat my sister's maid.""I am aware", I said primly [...] "But I was sorry afterward, whch is the very definition of diplomacy."
"Why did your British Empire see fit to colonize so much of the planet? [...] You did it for two reasons. [...] The places you took had things you wanted. Resources. Tea and cinnamon and precious metals and girls no one would ever debase themselves by marrying, but whom every British gentleman was happy to deflower. That’s the first reason you did what you did, and that’s the first reason we do what we do."
Arthur swallowed hard before whispering, "What’s the second reason?"
[...] "Because we can."
"The things we do tonight are crimes of war. They are not things for which
we can be punished in the court of law."
There were those who would insist that a lady’s chief graces were as follows: breeding,
beauty, and a blind adherence to the manners of the society in which she takes root, no
matter how senseless or silly those manners may be. It was considered better to bloom
beautifully and without offending anyone than to grow wanton and in healthy abundance.
“Clearly, this was a civilization cultivating itself for conquest.
Honestly, the alien protagonist was so likeable (to me at least; yes, I'm weird) that I couldn't bring myself to pity humanity. *lol*