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A review by lauren_miller
Satisfaction Guaranteed by Karelia Stetz-Waters
Did not finish book. Stopped at 28%.
DNF @ 28%
I tried. I really tried to like this book, but I swear to god, everyone besides Cade was so annoying that in the end I just couldn't handle it.
Cade, god, I related to her wayyy too much. Within a couple chapters I was both annoyed and commiserating her over the author's constant spiel of "Cade must have been switched at birth, but it's ok that she's an accountant, it's who she is" from all the side characters—god forbid a woman want a kick-ass job AND an actual shot at retirement. If it were me, I would've seen the shop's finances and run for the fucking hills; no amount of guilt tripping would get me to upend my life in a whole other city to take over a failing—no, dying—business just so that the "universe" can be heard and my crazy aunt's "will" done. The fact that Cade decided to stay means she is already a better person than I. She literally did NOT owe her family or Selena a thing, yet she stuck around to help...
And speaking of the devil...
Selena could have been one of my favorite characters—healing and self-actualizing following abuse from a partner, hypersexual, uber sex positive and inclusive, obsessed with sex toys, all these things I jive with... But seriously, she had zero grip on reality. I get not wanting to lose Ruth's touch and also wanting to cherish and uplift her memory, but Selena didn't even consider what Cade had to say; all her ideas (seriously girl, the shop is failing and your first thought is, 'Yes! Burlesque and vulva painting are the answer!'????) were great to some degree, but only feasible if the shop was operating from an already steady financial foundation. You can't perform the Vagina Monologues without first renting the theatre space, you feel me? Cade was damn right to suggest taking all that shit home, streamlining the Satisfaction Guaranteed inventory and branding, outfitting the online shop, etc., literally PR/Marketing 101, and Cade was even nice enough to suggest taking all that shit HOME instead of pitching it all and then gutting the place lol.
The whole thing just irritated the hell out of me. I tried to continue the audiobook on three separate occasions before I acquiesced to my frustration. I'm so disappointed...
2 out of 5 stars, ★★☆☆☆
I tried. I really tried to like this book, but I swear to god, everyone besides Cade was so annoying that in the end I just couldn't handle it.
Cade, god, I related to her wayyy too much. Within a couple chapters I was both annoyed and commiserating her over the author's constant spiel of "Cade must have been switched at birth, but it's ok that she's an accountant, it's who she is" from all the side characters—god forbid a woman want a kick-ass job AND an actual shot at retirement. If it were me, I would've seen the shop's finances and run for the fucking hills; no amount of guilt tripping would get me to upend my life in a whole other city to take over a failing—no, dying—business just so that the "universe" can be heard and my crazy aunt's "will" done. The fact that Cade decided to stay means she is already a better person than I. She literally did NOT owe her family or Selena a thing, yet she stuck around to help...
And speaking of the devil...
Selena could have been one of my favorite characters—healing and self-actualizing following abuse from a partner, hypersexual, uber sex positive and inclusive, obsessed with sex toys, all these things I jive with... But seriously, she had zero grip on reality. I get not wanting to lose Ruth's touch and also wanting to cherish and uplift her memory, but Selena didn't even consider what Cade had to say; all her ideas (seriously girl, the shop is failing and your first thought is, 'Yes! Burlesque and vulva painting are the answer!'????) were great to some degree, but only feasible if the shop was operating from an already steady financial foundation. You can't perform the Vagina Monologues without first renting the theatre space, you feel me? Cade was damn right to suggest taking all that shit home, streamlining the Satisfaction Guaranteed inventory and branding, outfitting the online shop, etc., literally PR/Marketing 101, and Cade was even nice enough to suggest taking all that shit HOME instead of pitching it all and then gutting the place lol.
The whole thing just irritated the hell out of me. I tried to continue the audiobook on three separate occasions before I acquiesced to my frustration. I'm so disappointed...
2 out of 5 stars, ★★☆☆☆
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Gaslighting
Moderate: Emotional abuse