Scan barcode
A review by erebus53
Tastes Like War: A Memoir by Grace M. Cho
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
3.25
I think that memoirs, in general, tend to be self-indulgent therapy pieces; that's not to say that they aren't valuable to society and one could argue that we have been inundated by memoirs of rich white men for generations, and we get something out of hearing the stories of a variety of different people. I'm going to admit that my opinion of this writing was coloured by an online review that I stumbled upon, that purports to have been submitted by the brother of the author. This gave me many complex feelings about the nature of telling Our Story, when it is basically the stories of the people we have been surrounded by and interacted with during our lives.
This is a story written primarily about a woman's personal investigation and fixation on learning about her mother, the Korean War, and intergenerational trauma of children of (for want of a less problematic term) mixed parentage living in small-town USA. As her mother is not literate, is schizophrenic, and is a trauma sufferer, much of the book was written around her, without consulting her, and without her having read it. In fact, the book was not published before her mother died. I could see how other family members might be angry at having been talked about or having the personal stories and vulnerable moments divulged as part of a story that is ultimately a saleable commodity, and without their permission.
Much of the book is written in the broad strokes of the Sociological lens, and has been pinned to an idea of a mother that the author could never fully know as an adult. I think that is a real feeling for many people who lose a parent young, and I know that personally I have continued learning more about my mother's context growing up, as I have aged myself. From my experience I agree that it's frustrating to not have that person in your life any more, when you are finally an adult. It's good that she managed to finally bond with her mother over the foods that had connection to her cultural influences. It's a little unfortunate that it feels like some of the conclusions that she expresses about her mother's experiences are conjecture, and fit a useful narrative while having little direct tie to who her mother was.
Wish I enjoyed the story more; wish I had learned more, but rather this was a harsh story about survivors of war and sexual exploitation, and a family that has all suffered because of an inability to overcome ingrained prejudices, mental illness, and the messiness of life. It's all a bit exhausting.
This is a story written primarily about a woman's personal investigation and fixation on learning about her mother, the Korean War, and intergenerational trauma of children of (for want of a less problematic term) mixed parentage living in small-town USA. As her mother is not literate, is schizophrenic, and is a trauma sufferer, much of the book was written around her, without consulting her, and without her having read it. In fact, the book was not published before her mother died. I could see how other family members might be angry at having been talked about or having the personal stories and vulnerable moments divulged as part of a story that is ultimately a saleable commodity, and without their permission.
Much of the book is written in the broad strokes of the Sociological lens, and has been pinned to an idea of a mother that the author could never fully know as an adult. I think that is a real feeling for many people who lose a parent young, and I know that personally I have continued learning more about my mother's context growing up, as I have aged myself. From my experience I agree that it's frustrating to not have that person in your life any more, when you are finally an adult. It's good that she managed to finally bond with her mother over the foods that had connection to her cultural influences. It's a little unfortunate that it feels like some of the conclusions that she expresses about her mother's experiences are conjecture, and fit a useful narrative while having little direct tie to who her mother was.
Wish I enjoyed the story more; wish I had learned more, but rather this was a harsh story about survivors of war and sexual exploitation, and a family that has all suffered because of an inability to overcome ingrained prejudices, mental illness, and the messiness of life. It's all a bit exhausting.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual violence, Violence, Misogyny, War, Grief, Kidnapping, Physical abuse, Racism, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Sexism, Bullying, Xenophobia, Domestic abuse, Abandonment, Alcohol, Animal death, Blood, Drug use, Mental illness, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Child death, Colonisation, Chronic illness, Death, Death of parent, Pedophilia, and Racial slurs