A review by anastasia_raf
Ace Voices: What it Means to Be Asexual, Aromantic, Demi or Grey-Ace by Eris Young

emotional hopeful informative inspiring medium-paced

5.0

** Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for providing me with a digital ARC**

Ace Voices by Eris Young is the representation I've been waiting for my whole life. It's the blanket my young ace self would use to warm themself up and hide under to find a world where I'm not weird. I'm unique. I'm not immature. I'm just different. I am not loveless. I'm precious. I'm ace, and that describes me in my wholeness, not lackness.
 In this book, Eris set out to crush conventionality in its whole meaning and use the ground to build a safe space for me. For us. "To not prove to allosexual people we exist but to prove it to ourselves," As they put it.
 This book discusses asexuality, aromanticism, demisexuality, grey-asexuality and even more identities and language used by a-spec people. It redefines love, romance, relationships without actually imprisoning them into conditions or actual immutable definitions. The flexibility given to the meaning of everything is truly refreshing and freeing.
 The only critique I have for this book is that it was too short. The thoughts, discussions, the voices of a-spec people, the ace joy, everything! I wanted more of it. This book had me stopping every five minutes to write down quotes, personal experiences, feelings, and to just feel the joy pouring out of me at the realization that I'm not alone. I'm not lost anymore in the expectations of this society, but rather flourishing at my own pace, my own way.
 It changed me in a fundamental way. Or maybe it just assured me it was okay to finally see what was there all along.
 Here are some of the quotes I loved:

"A network of friendships is like a garden, full of variety and therefore more healthy, robust and sustainable than a single crop. And like a vegetable garden, if you put work and energy into it, it will nourish you in return."

"...and to understand asexuality, aromanticism and all the spectrum identities for what they really are: nothing more than different ways to be human."

"If sex is considered by mainstream society to be a normal and universal function of a healthy body or mind,then romance and romantic coupling - its sexual nature often left unsaid but still implied- is framed as a natural function of a healthy personality."

"In the face of so much pressure to explain ourselves, pressure to be certain, the ease with which so many a-spec people hold into ambiguity, blurriness and changeability of human experience is both a strength and a radical act."

By Grace B Freedom: "while my erotic seat does not rest on the legs of white supremacist cis heteropatriarchal allosexuality, there is indeed an erotic seat and it is indeed hot."

"...and perhaps ironically, realizing I'm not alone has made me more comfortable with being on my own."

Great points of discussion:

"...a feeling of aloneness in who I was."

"We are taught that once a relationship has become very close, it becomes "something more," and ceases to be a friendship. Once a friendship reaches a certain level of intensity, intimacy or closeness, "it evolves'' into a romantic relationship, a different beast entirely."

"When you're desperate to communicate you use the words available to you even if they're not the best ones."

"Born-this-way language risks alienating or even erasing people whose sexualities or genders are fluid or developing."

By LG " Are we really creating stereotypes based on behaviour the same way cis straight people create gender stereotypes?"

By Vaid-Menon "Part of white supremacy as I understand it, is the privilege of being a subject of desire: one who can feel in control of one's desires and one who has more agency to act on said desires." 

 Go preorder it and make room for it in your bookshelf because I assure you, once you've read it, it will never leave yourself and shelf. ( Proud of what I did there.)  I am in actual NEED of a physical copy of this book and counting down the days till I can have it in my hands.
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