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A review by isabellarobinson7
The Apollo Murders by Chris Hadfield
4.0
Warning: This is not a good review. In any way. Other people have written ones infinitely better, so I hope you give those reviews the attention they deserve and not waste your time reading mine.
Rating: 4 stars
Phew! I thought I lost my notes on this book and was going to have to start the review from scratch (which would have been a feat given I read this book over 100 days ago) or ditch it and give up writing one altogether (which would break my streak of reviewing every book I read in 2022) but it's ok! I found them! They were under a folder titled "Apollo die" which sounds more like a death threat against the Greek/Roman deity rather than a science fiction thriller, but that's just my brain for you.
But anyway, let's dig in and expand on these notes. First of all: why did I pick up this book? Well, besides the premise sounding awesome, the main reason I read The Apollo Murders was because its author was Chris Hadfield, the astronaut known (to me, anyway) for singing David Bowie's "Space Oddity" in, you guessed it, space. Then I realised he had written a sci fi thriller... and against all odds they had a copy at my city's library... and that copy was currently at my local library... and it was available at my local library... you bet I made a special trip out just to get this book.
(Fair warning: this paragraph is absolute nonsense)
At first when I read the prologue, which is in first person, I was kind of disappointed, because I vastly prefer third, and sometimes first person perspective can make or break a book for me. However, come chapter one, much to my delight, we were in third person! But then I came across another problem: the main character's name was Kaz. Yes, I was a Six of Crows fangirl back in the day (I even have the special editions which I am not getting rid of because they are so beautiful), so the name "Kaz" brings up only one character to mind. And it's safe to say that that Kaz is quite a bit different from this one. The best way I can describe it is like autocorrect. I have typed "tge" accidentally so many times instead of "the" that my phone has just come to accept it as a word. Let's say I'm writing a long message. As I go, if I see the error and I will fix it before I move on, but as the message gets longer, I end up checking the previous sentences less and less. Slowly I forget that "tge" is even a problem and my brain kind of reverts to seeing it as a normal part of the message. Consistently, I have to consciously acknowledge that "tge" is not a word, I mean "the". Reading The Apollo Murders was like that for me. I had to keep reminding myself that whenever the name "Kaz" was mentioned, it had no relation whatsoever to Kaz Brekker. None. (I make this sound like some epic struggle, but it was really only a minor issue.) I mean, his last name is only marginally better - Zemeckis. The one person that name brings to mind is director Robert Zemeckis, who, you know, only directed two of my favourite movies in existence!! (What am I complaining about. I am being so petty. Just ignore me.)
About 40 pages in I got the audiobook (not because I was struggling to get through it, just because I was going too slow for my taste) and the narrator sounded familiar. His name was Ray Porter… and he did the newest Andy Weir novel: Project Hail Mary. And I’m sorry but he cannot do New Zealand or Australian accents. I'm sure he was doing his absolute best, and I commend him for giving it a shot, but it was bad in Andy Weir's novel, and it's just as bad here. It wasn't even a stereotypical "Aussie twang" like some actors/narrators do. It was just... flat out wrong. Sorry mate, but don't take any more jobs where Australasian accents are required. Just save yourself the embarrassment.
Maybe I’ve just been watching too much Star Trek, but it seemed weird everybody calling each other by first names. Maybe it’s because NASA is fundamentally not a military installation and Starfleet is (no matter how many try to deny it) but it just felt too… casual. I suppose Janeway more often than not refers to her crew by their first names rather than rank/surname, so it's not all that dissimilar. Eh, what do I know anyway.
Yes, I am juvenile, but I loved this boy humour in space. The farting and then the barf bag. It cracked me up. I even made a note of the fart quote.
Brilliant! Just brilliant. This makes me grin like a five year old boy.
Now we have a random thing that doesn't fit into any other category. Something that really bugged me has nothing to do with the story at all, but the book. I had a library copy and the page number of 278 was circled in pen... Why? Nothing particularly exciting happens on this page. No other page numbers were circled. What was so important that you had to get out a blue biro and purposefully mark specifically page 278 of a public library book? Did this number speak to you on a spiritual level? Did it permanently alter your world view forever more? Am I reading too much into a simple line on a page? Do I need to shut up and just finish this review?
Ok review done. My thoughts don't help anyone, they are just for me reflection. This book was great, and doesn't deserve all this nonsense. Sorry Chris Hadfield.
Rating: 4 stars
Phew! I thought I lost my notes on this book and was going to have to start the review from scratch (which would have been a feat given I read this book over 100 days ago) or ditch it and give up writing one altogether (which would break my streak of reviewing every book I read in 2022) but it's ok! I found them! They were under a folder titled "Apollo die" which sounds more like a death threat against the Greek/Roman deity rather than a science fiction thriller, but that's just my brain for you.
But anyway, let's dig in and expand on these notes. First of all: why did I pick up this book? Well, besides the premise sounding awesome, the main reason I read The Apollo Murders was because its author was Chris Hadfield, the astronaut known (to me, anyway) for singing David Bowie's "Space Oddity" in, you guessed it, space. Then I realised he had written a sci fi thriller... and against all odds they had a copy at my city's library... and that copy was currently at my local library... and it was available at my local library... you bet I made a special trip out just to get this book.
(Fair warning: this paragraph is absolute nonsense)
At first when I read the prologue, which is in first person, I was kind of disappointed, because I vastly prefer third, and sometimes first person perspective can make or break a book for me. However, come chapter one, much to my delight, we were in third person! But then I came across another problem: the main character's name was Kaz. Yes, I was a Six of Crows fangirl back in the day (I even have the special editions which I am not getting rid of because they are so beautiful), so the name "Kaz" brings up only one character to mind. And it's safe to say that that Kaz is quite a bit different from this one. The best way I can describe it is like autocorrect. I have typed "tge" accidentally so many times instead of "the" that my phone has just come to accept it as a word. Let's say I'm writing a long message. As I go, if I see the error and I will fix it before I move on, but as the message gets longer, I end up checking the previous sentences less and less. Slowly I forget that "tge" is even a problem and my brain kind of reverts to seeing it as a normal part of the message. Consistently, I have to consciously acknowledge that "tge" is not a word, I mean "the". Reading The Apollo Murders was like that for me. I had to keep reminding myself that whenever the name "Kaz" was mentioned, it had no relation whatsoever to Kaz Brekker. None. (I make this sound like some epic struggle, but it was really only a minor issue.) I mean, his last name is only marginally better - Zemeckis. The one person that name brings to mind is director Robert Zemeckis, who, you know, only directed two of my favourite movies in existence!! (What am I complaining about. I am being so petty. Just ignore me.)
About 40 pages in I got the audiobook (not because I was struggling to get through it, just because I was going too slow for my taste) and the narrator sounded familiar. His name was Ray Porter… and he did the newest Andy Weir novel: Project Hail Mary. And I’m sorry but he cannot do New Zealand or Australian accents. I'm sure he was doing his absolute best, and I commend him for giving it a shot, but it was bad in Andy Weir's novel, and it's just as bad here. It wasn't even a stereotypical "Aussie twang" like some actors/narrators do. It was just... flat out wrong. Sorry mate, but don't take any more jobs where Australasian accents are required. Just save yourself the embarrassment.
Maybe I’ve just been watching too much Star Trek, but it seemed weird everybody calling each other by first names. Maybe it’s because NASA is fundamentally not a military installation and Starfleet is (no matter how many try to deny it) but it just felt too… casual. I suppose Janeway more often than not refers to her crew by their first names rather than rank/surname, so it's not all that dissimilar. Eh, what do I know anyway.
Yes, I am juvenile, but I loved this boy humour in space. The farting and then the barf bag. It cracked me up. I even made a note of the fart quote.
" 'Woo-hoo, sorry, guys. That one's a real stinker!'
The air pressure inside the cabin had dropped steadily, as planned, during launch, and was now holding at one-third of what it had been in Florida. The gases in everyone's guts had expanded, and all three of them were farting.
Michael winced. 'Geez, Luke, keep that in your own spacesuit, would ya?' "
Brilliant! Just brilliant. This makes me grin like a five year old boy.
Now we have a random thing that doesn't fit into any other category. Something that really bugged me has nothing to do with the story at all, but the book. I had a library copy and the page number of 278 was circled in pen... Why? Nothing particularly exciting happens on this page. No other page numbers were circled. What was so important that you had to get out a blue biro and purposefully mark specifically page 278 of a public library book? Did this number speak to you on a spiritual level? Did it permanently alter your world view forever more? Am I reading too much into a simple line on a page? Do I need to shut up and just finish this review?
Ok review done. My thoughts don't help anyone, they are just for me reflection. This book was great, and doesn't deserve all this nonsense. Sorry Chris Hadfield.