I have never felt more seen in my life. Gogol embodies the experience of being the child of immigrants, having to grow up feeling like two different people. I related to him in so many aspects, from the hating of his name, to not wanting to visit his family, the suppressing of his culture, and wanting to fit in. It broke my heart when he changed his name but I immediately understood the decision. I wanted to do it too at some point. Growing up with a unique name and background is so difficult in the United States. As much as Gogol tried to escape his culture, it kept coming back to him. The memory of his father at the beach broke me into pieces and made me realize how important it is to value those family members who are still with us, even the ones we don't like visiting. I realized how I need to stay in touch with my family across the country and be grateful for my immigrant parents who are the strongest people I know. I enjoyed the book so much I even read the afterword (which I never do). Life is full of train wrecks but we have to keep moving forward.